To the one who doesn't have it all together,
You're not alone. It probably seems that way though, doesn't it? When you look around, everyone seems to have their lives together. Someone lands a new job, someone gets engaged, someone starts a family, someone graduates college...you get the idea. And then there's you. The one who can't keep up with assignments, the one who can't keep their room clean, the one who is forever alone, and the one who can barely find a reason to get up in the morning. Why can't you have it all together like they do? What are you doing wrong?
I definitely don't know every reason of why you don't have it together, but I am sure of at least one. It's comparison. As humans, we often see life as a race, without even meaning to. We compare where we are in life to where our friends are in life, or just others in general. We were not created to live the same life as everyone else, so this whole comparing thing isn't going to work. You have a story to live out, just like everyone else, and your stories are not going to look the same. Read that again. Your stories are not going to look the same.
You have good things going for you too, you really do. You're just missing them because you're focusing on the things that aren't going so well instead. There will always be something that's not going your way, that's inevitable. However, there will also always be something that is going your way. Focus on that instead. From the outside looking in, others probably think you have your life together as well. Don't you see the misunderstandings here?
I will let you in on a secret. The funny thing about the people who have it all together, is that they don't. They might be pretending, but trust me, they don't. When you were a child, you always looked up to adults for help because they have all the answers, right? Here I am at 21 years old, realizing that being an adult doesn't mean you have all the answers, and it doesn't mean you have it all together. Adulting is nothing but a lot of pretending that you have it together. Let that sink in, the majority of us are all just pretending. Don't let it fool you.
If you don't take anything else away from this letter, take this. You don't have to have it all together. Not right now, not in the next week, not in the next year. Having your life "together" isn't the key to happiness. The key is to take the things that life throws at you and make the best of them. Remember that life is not a race and that you'll never find peace in comparing yourself to others. Let the things that you go through give you character and shape you into the person you were supposed to be all along. After all, it's all you can do. Hang in there, things are going to get better.
Sincerely,
Another 20-something that can't get it together and probably never will
P.S. You're doing a lot better than you're giving yourself credit for. I promise.
