To the One Who Broke Me,

There is something about a love that completely consumes you, something safe, something scary, and something that makes you feel complete. I found you when I was 16, someone who made me complete and someone who I felt like a half without. You came out of thin air, sure we had always been friends, but I never thought that we would end up together.

But we did.

We started out just talking as friends, but slowly we got closer and closer, causing me to feel something that I never felt before. For quite some time I believed you would be the one that I would spend the rest of my life with. I told myself that you were my happy ever after and slowly I fell in love with everything about you.

You were someone who brought me to my lowest lows, but someone who also brought me to my highest highs. You made me feel like the only girl on the planet, yet at the same time could make me feel like a stranger in a crowd. I loved you so completely that I felt it in every piece of me, from the tips of my toes to the top of my head. You made me feel so much joy, I would light up when I saw your name on my phone or when I saw your car coming around the corner. Unfortunately, you weren’t the person I made you out to be.

You were my first love and my greatest, and I wont ever have another love like you, but I don’t want to.

You took my love for granted. You took me for granted. You never saw how disappointed I was when my phone went off and it wasn’t you. You never saw me defend you to others. You never saw the way that I would wait up just to say goodnight after you had a late practice or were working late. You never saw the way that time would stand still whenever I was with you. You never noticed that I was there for you whenever you needed me. I was there for you through everything, your worst days and your best days but no matter how hard I tried, it was never good enough.

You never saw me. Instead, you destroyed me.

Before you, I had a positive outlook on life and love. I believed in the good of everyone and everything. I believed that if you wished upon a shooting star, you’d get your wish. I believed in fate. I always saw the good in people even if others didn’t. I believed in fairy tales, magic, and love.

I thought I was living a fairy tale but instead you turned out to be my worst nightmare.

You built me up just to tear me down again and again. I have never had so many insecurities surface than I did when I was with you. I never felt like I was good enough. You made me question my self-worth and you made me put all the blame on myself when in reality it was you all along. You made me believe you actually cared about me when in reality you just liked the idea of me.

When things ended the sadness I felt did not just last a couple of days or a couple of months, it did not just magically disappear. I have found myself over the last year sometimes staying up and wondering what we could have been; there have been many nights where my pillow was left tear stained. Sometimes I even have flashbacks to the genuinely good times we did have together. I felt so lost and insecure, and for some time I didn’t know if I would ever recover.

But in the end, I was the bigger person. I learned to accept the fact that you would never truly love me, you would just love the idea of me. This has made me so much stronger and I thank you for that. You have shown me to be more selective with the people that I let into my heart, and now the lock surrounding it is stronger than ever. I now know that people will try and manipulate me, but I won’t let them. The scars I have from you are just proof that I am healing. I survived, and I am stronger than ever. These scars are a strength, and I will never see them as a flaw. Because of you I have become a stronger person than I ever thought I could be. So thank you for that.

One day you’ll look back and realize my worth and you’ll regret taking my love for you for granted. You will see all the things I did for you. You will see how much stronger I am now and you’ll have to deal with the fact that it was all because of you. One day you will see me with another guy and have regret, even though you’ll try to deny it, because at one point that guy was you. You will realize at one point that you truly care for this innocent, sweet girl who believed in love but by then it will be too late. You will realize that I was the one worth fighting for.

You may have broken me but now you’ll look into my eyes and realize that all these broken pieces have mended. You may have defeated me at a time, but now, I am the one who has defeated you. Not only did you lose the fight, but you completely lost me: the girl who loved you unconditionally.

Sincerely,

The girl who used to love you