Dear the one,

It is with deep sadness to say that we didn't work out. I did not expect this day to come, ever.

You are someone special. Someone I have never met before. You have characteristics that girls wished most guys had. I was just lucky that I had you as mine.

I fell in love with you the first day I laid eyes on you. You should've never smiled at me, this would've never happened. But no, you did and look at what happened…. we made memories that I will never regret. The moment I fell for you was the greatest, yet scariest, because as much as I love you I was so scared that one day I would lose you. From the moment I met you, I knew you were going to change my life. I didn't think you were going to mean so much to me, but somehow you tore down my walls and I let you in.

You checked everything off my list. My ex-boyfriends always had this big flaw that would stand out. You have none.

You opened up a piece of me I don't usually talk about. Dan was a big part of my life and you have characteristics that he had that I loved. You never judged a book by its cover and you aren't afraid to be yourself. You made me realize that life goes on. I am more at peace because of you. I see Dan in you. He would've loved you.

I remember when we first started dating. You were the first thing that came into my mind. It gave me the motivation to get up in the morning. I knew that after my 11:50 Ecology class I was able to walk with you to your Physics class in room 420. Those two minutes gave me joy. It helped me get through three hours of soccer, 6 hours of study hall, and loads of homework. Hearing you say "How's it goin" made my gloomy day feel a bit brighter.

I always looked forward to WVC dates where you would eat like a maniac and I would eat some random stuff here and there. Or, there would be times where you didn't eat and I would yell at you, there is no in-between!

I looked forward to studying late at night then going to get ice cream. Of course, I got the lactose free one while you got the regular one; yours always tasted better.

I looked forward to every second with you. I miss you cuddling me. I miss your hand interlocked with mine. I miss your whispers, jokes, laugh, and whatever you do with your eyebrows.

I remember when I got you to actually like Valentine's Day. The card you gave me is still with me, I read it all the time. It's not going anywhere.

The time we had together was short, but it was the best two months I could ever ask for from a guy. You were a better boyfriend than the guys I dated in the past longer than 6 months! I could go on and on about you. *You're* (blahhh) caring, driven, assertive, kind, selfless, willing, loyal, etc. Any girl would fall in love with you. I am just glad that you chose me and loved me for a little bit.

There is so much I don't understand. Where did I go wrong? What is wrong with me? I don't understand why everything seemed so normal and we seemed fine and then all of a sudden it's over. No more good morning texts, no more long facetimes, no more of your mushy voice, and sadly, no more I Love You's. But it's okay. This is what happens in relationships. I accept it and I accept you.

I knew I had to let you go for the sake of our relationship, and your sake also. You wanted to be a better person, a changed man, which I respect you for. You wanted to grow, and I wanted you to grow without me. You reminded me constantly that your priority was yourself and you had to focus on yourself, and I left so you could go through it and not have me as a distraction or someone to hold you back. I needed you to love yourself, make yourself happy, and know who you are before you were ready to be with me. I tell myself that it was a "right guy, wrong time" situation, but everything happens for a reason. I know you don't love me anymore...and it's okay. I understand why. You're not ready for a relationship and you need to work on yourself. You can't love someone if you don't love yourself first.

Some people ask me how you have been doing, but the truth is, I don't even know. Others inform me on how you're doing, and it stings when they first mention your name. But when they tell me that you're doing well with school and with work and with life itself, I feel a little bit better. You have wanted to be content with your life for so long, and it seems that now you finally are, and I am happy for you. I am. I wish I could experience it with you, though, but that's just the way life goes.

If someone would have warned me from the beginning that I could have you, but I would not be able to keep you, I still would've gone through with it. You were worth every single moment, no matter how short. It doesn't matter if our love lasts forever. It only matters that we were once lucky enough to have it.

Thank you for driving 2 hours just to spend a weekend with me, for facetiming/talking to me until we both passed out, let me introduce my family to you. Thank you for making time for me when you could, even though all you wanted to do is play COD and do something else after a long day, I should've appreciated it more. Thank you for always putting up with me crying over little things, and then knowing that you were what made me feel better, for singing to me and dancing in my car and my beach house, making me giggle to feel better. Thank you for loving me when I was alone when no one else did and letting me love you right back.

I look forward to seeing you again. Talk about our dreams, our aspirations, and our new relationships. I look forward to seeing that you have found another girl that makes you happy. A girl that challenges you to be a better person, a girl that enjoys the same things you do, a girl that brings a smile to your face, and a girl that loves you as much as we loved each other when we were younger. A girl that brings the best out of you, and inspires you to do what you love to do. Because I know that a person like you deserves the very best. In 20, 30 years from now I still want to run into you, to see that you have acquired everything I had ever hoped for you. Because even though we were lovers at one point, we were also best friends, and that's what best friends want for each other.

So here's to all the heartfelt text messages we sent, the long phone calls at 3 in the morning, the trips we took together, fruit-salad, the Drake N Josh theme song, getting you into Turtle, the excessive amounts of alcohol we drank, adventures we went on, here is to holding each other tight and telling each other we would never let go, here is to the endless laughs and smiles we shared, and the tears we shed for each other, the fights we got in over the music, and most importantly here is to breaking each other's hearts. Not because we hate each other or don't love each other anymore, but because we knew that our time together was over, for now.

Know that you were worth so much to me and still are. You and our memories are irreplaceable to me. So if you're up at 3 am, remembering every little fight we had, or how you've hurt me in any way, or with anyone in that matter, you need to remember that you deserve the best, the greatest care, love, and happiness you have/will receive. To me you were and still are the most amazing person I had in my life, I wouldn't change a thing about you because you were perfect to me. I constantly see you as that amazing person which is who I fell in love with, and nothing will change that.

I will always be there for you. Through thick and thin, I will always have your back. I don't care if I am your girlfriend, friend, or nothing. I will be on the sideline, cheering you on with anything you come head-to-head with. If you ever need help, I will always be first to volunteer. I am your number one fan and I always will be.

Remember your self-worth, stop seeking acceptance from others and bring down any walls you build around yourself. Surround yourself with positive influences, with those who know your worth, who love you, who will let you live your life, and not control you in any way. Do what is best for yourself, and what makes you happy. Don't let go of the things that make you who you are, don't try to change the reasons why people love you, don't let anyone change who you are. Just keep being you. Be yourself because that is the best thing you can be.

I love you. I appreciate you.

-H