There are

lay

ers

to loving me.

In the beginning, I am quite easy to love. My surface is smooth, my smiles tender.

But as time undresses, my insides are revealed to be rough and ragged. It will become awfully difficult to love me. At times, borderline impossible.

Many have left; for people who would rather see a car accident unfold from afar, than be the shotgun rider.

Until you.

Only you can see all you see, know all you know about me, and still look at me like this.

- Alicia Cook

I sit here eating chocolate chip cookies, staring at the computer screen, trying to put my feelings into words. I write you letters all the time to remind you of how much I love you and to thank you for being so wonderful to me but... I don't want this letter to sound like the rest. I want you to read this, and without me ever mentioning your name I want you to know that it was written just for you.

I have always been the type of person who is better able to express her feelings and emotions through writing rather than speaking. I often have trouble finding the words to say things aloud but on paper, I can ramble until the words find their way through my maze of a brain and make their way out.

There are few people in this world who understand me the way you do. I don't smile a lot and I'm often sassy so people assume that I am a b****. But you... You were never fooled by all of that. You are able to tell that when I'm not smiling, I'm just thinking... Thinking of something to say, observing what is going on around me, or just overthinking any possible situation at hand. You know that when I'm being sassy that I'm protecting myself... I'm putting up a thin layer of my walls to make sure I don't get hurt. You know how sensitive I am and you know that this is how I cope.

It's not always easy to find someone who sees and understands your soul but you go above and beyond that. Not only do you see and understand it, but you love it... unconditionally. You see my flaws and you accept them... You are able to see that some parts of me are still broken and yet you love every broken part just the same.

I know I'm a lot to handle... I can be difficult... I'm moody... I'm sensitive... I get anxious a lot... I have at least one emotional or mental breakdown every 2 weeks and it doesn't even phase you. You care for me like no one has ever cared for me before. I don't know what I ever did to deserve someone like you but I'm forever grateful that you were put into my life. You have made me and continue to make me the happiest person in the world. You bring light to my darkest moments and you do so in the most natural way.

Thank you for being you and for loving every part of me. Thank you for not just telling me I'm beautiful but for making sure I believe it. Thank you for appreciating my talents despite the constant rejection. Thank you for knowing that even when I can't find the words, I love you more than anything. Thank you for holding me when I laugh and when I cry. Thank you for always being there. And lastly, thank you for making me believe in the kind of love that lasts forever.

You are my person... And you will always be my person.

I love you forever and always... to the moon and back and then some.