You’ve heard almost every thought in my mind, and I’ve basically said every word or phrase to tell you how I felt. Except those three simple words. Would hearing those words have changed anything? Probably not. I’m here to tell you why you’ll regret letting me get away.
I didn’t know it when I first met you. I didn’t know that you would become someone in my life who would mean that much to me. It wasn’t love at first sight. You didn’t take my breath away the first time I saw you. You were you, and I was me. I couldn’t tell you what you wore that night, because I wasn’t even sure how I felt about you. But then you kissed me and everything changed.
No it wasn’t like the movies where the girl gets these crazy butterflies in her stomach, and feels the sparks during the kiss. I just knew at that moment when you grabbed my face and kissed me, you were worth getting to know. I often think back to that night and wonder where I would be in my life if I had made a different decision about you. I’ll tell you one thing, I wouldn’t spend my nights crying and my days comparing everyone else to you. The truth of the matter is, I was damned from the start. We met only a month after you had gotten out of a serious relationship. You weren’t looking for someone new but a replacement of her. Any girl in my position would have been damned.
As we got to know each other, it became clearer and clearer how you made me feel. I had truly never felt this way about somebody before and honestly that made me grateful. I hung on every word you said, and I was mesmerized by the way you saw the world and viewed life.
I miss the way you made me feel. I often think back to our times together and I can’t remember a time when I was happier. I can also say that with that happiness came great pain and heartache. I miss you. I also missed you as I spent time with you or sat right next to you. I was on borrowed time with you. I felt myself falling and I wish I had stopped it. You were different than other guys. You made me feel different, and your heart was big enough for the whole world. I think back to the first night we met. When we walked around town and how you grabbed my hand. I felt weightless. I walk that same route sometimes, but now it’s just to walk my dog.
The thing about us is that we were never able to say goodbye. We were never able to truly walk away. I wanted everything with you. I would have stayed and fought for us. I wish you had fought for us. You could do no wrong in my eyes. I still hope that you’ll come knock on my door or contact me. You won’t. I pray that you find another girl to look at you the way I looked at you. I hope she makes your heart feel the way you made mine feel. Even after the last 6 weeks of this pain and agony of losing you, I would still be here. The sacrifices I would have made for you are unthinkable. You became my entire world in a year, and I often wonder how long it will take to tear those walls down. I believed in you. I believed in your ability to accomplish anything that you put your mind to.
They say you don’t know what you’ve got until its gone. I know it would bother you when I continued to reach out. You shouldn’t have worried when I continually tried to reach out to you. You should be worried now, when you no longer hear from me. It means I’m moving on. I'll love again, but not in the same way. If I could have one more conversation with you, I would tell you how grateful I am to have met you. How grateful I am to have had the short amount of time that I did to spend with you. How grateful I am to have felt the way you made me feel, even if it was only for a second. How grateful I am to have had something so real and to feel something so deeply that it makes saying goodbye so hard to do.
You will forever be a part of my story and, if you ever read this, know that I could never hate you. Know that I hope nothing but happiness comes your way, even if it means that I don’t get to be happy. With that happiness, know that I will always be the girl that you let get away. You are always going to wonder about me, whether you want to or not. I may come across your mind when you’re happy and when you’re sad. You might wonder what I am doing or how I have been. That has to be a lot of guilt and for that I am sorry.
It’s for that reason that you’ll regret letting me get away. You may not think so right now but one day you’ll realize that I would have given you everything. One day you’ll realize that you miss me, but it will be too late.
