When every girl is born, it is said she becomes her dad's princess. That no matter what she does, in her father's eyes she can do no wrong. Wrapped so tightly around his finger that he will never think a man is good enough to take his place in her life. Well, I would not know what that feels like because all my life I have been my mom's daughter.
I have an older sister, and when we were younger, my dad would try to connect with us by taking us on "Daddy-Daughter Days." These usually consisted of going on an errand with him to the hardware store or on a hike at one of the metro-parks in our town. My mom was a stay-at-home-mom while I was growing up, so naturally my sister and I bonded closer with her. So when my sister or I were being unruly or whining, my dad would pass us on to our mom. However, the minute we said that we wanted our mom over him, he would become annoyed and pout over it.
As I grew up, I started to form my own opinions and values. However, they were much different than those of my father. This would infuriate him because the one way my dad and I are similar is that we are both stubborn and unafraid to speak our minds. So, while he would boast about his opinions on the world, I would share mine. He must have thought, how can my daughter be so opposite of me? Maybe it was the generation gap or maybe it was just me being more open minded to the world than he is. Either way, it was the start of more conflict.
When it came time for me to pick a college and a major to study, my dad seemed to be anything but supportive. "I think I want to study Journalism and Ohio University has a great program for it," I informed my parents one night while sitting on our deck. My mom responded, "Well, that sounds great but just keep your options open." My dad responded with something along the lines of "Journalism is an unreliable career path and OU is too far of a drive!" My whole college search went very similar to this conversation. My mom was the person who convinced me to tour John Carroll, and when I came back from the tour, I told my dad how much I loved it and wanted to go there. He picked up the information booklet I was given, took one look inside, and proclaimed "Too expensive. You might as well forget about going there now."
Well, much to my father's disapproval I applied to John Carroll anyway and two months later received my acceptance letter with a scholarship offer. Filled with excitement, I couldn't wait to share this news with him. His response was "Well, what about OU? Have you heard anything from them yet?" I had never seen so much anger spread across my mother's face than when she saw how much his response hurt my feelings. Another month or so passed, and I decided that my heart was set on John Carroll, with or without my father's support. I accepted my admission to the university and was over the moon with excitement to start the next step in my life.
As senior year of high school came to a close, my preparation for college began to accelerate. After I came home from orientation with my schedule set for my first semester of college classes, my dad's first response was "Well, I took all these classes at my university and for way less than you will be paying." In case you haven't grasped by now, my dad tends to measure everything by a financial yardstick. "But dad," I said, "John Carroll is such a good school and it feels like home." His response? "I don't see you liking it there or staying...but whatever."
Just as most every college freshman experiences, I had a rough time adjusting to college for the first month away at school. While my mother was genuinely concerned for me, my dad just scoffed and taunted "I told you she wasn't going to last there."
I finished out freshman year, still unsure on if I had made the right decision on my school. Maybe I would like it better at a big state school. After all, my high school was small, and I couldn't stand it there. I contemplated the idea of transferring to a bigger campus across the state multiple times this summer. However, then I thought about all the things I would miss about Carroll. My dad, however, used this uncertainty to try and play on my emotions. Again going back to how expensive he thought my school was and how wasteful when I could get the same degree at a state school, "for way less money." Well, here I am, I made it through my first year at college, and I'm back for more. Even without my dad's full support, I'm back for my sophomore year at JCU, and I couldn't imagine it differently.
Surely I can't sit here and say that I have the worst dad in the world. That would be unfair to say. I know my dad loves me and would surely give anything for me if it came down to it. However, I have never known what it is like to be held on a pedestal by my dad as most girls often experience.
Too often, society forces the stereotype that every little girl must look to her father as her biggest supporter in her life. Well, I'm not ashamed to say that I am not a "Daddy's Girl." In some respects, I think it has made me stronger as a person. I have grown up never having a man to constantly depend on for support, and now I know I don't have to rely on a guy to make me happy and whole in life. I have also been blessed with the world's most supporting, caring, and loving mom a girl could ask for. I am proud to be a "Mommy's Girl" and to be honest, I'm not sure I would want it any other way. So to all the other girls out there who aren't their dads princess, don't worry because you aren't alone and I'm sure you're doing just fine in life.
