"'No.' It is a complete sentence. It requires no justification or explanation."
If you're anything like me, then saying no to someone is one of the hardest things you ever have to do in life. Saying "no" doesn't roll off my tongue the second someone asks a question. In fact, it rarely even comes to mind at all. Saying "yes" is a habit; it's the habit of a people-pleaser. Which I am, no questions asked.
During the last year I have learned that it's okay to say no, saying no is not a bad thing. And, it sounds crazy, I know, but you probably aren't going to disappoint someone by saying it. That's the real fear here, it isn't saying the literal word "no" it's the thought of how it will make the person you say it to feel. It's a constant fear that doesn't go away and it doesn't die down over time. But, after the first time you say it, you'll understand what I have come to understand.
NO.
It is a very complete sentence. You don't need to come up with a reason or a justification of why you can't do something or why you can't drop everything you're doing to help someone else. Because, yes sometimes helping yourself is more important. Keep your own sanity in mind. Constantly saying yes causes stress in unneeded amounts. I've always been one to say yes to everything: yes I'll plan the school dance, yes I'll bake those cookies, yes, yes, yes. I was constantly overwhelmed because of my crazy fear that someone would get mad at me for not volunteering for that one bake sale. When I did say no I would contemplate for hours on what my explanation for not being able to do it would be. Did I have an appointment? Or maybe I would be out of town that weekend. Then, one day I actually said no (after my mom told me to of course). I just could not mentally handle saying yes, and no one was upset with me, no one shunned me. It was one of the best feelings, as bad as that may sound. Yes, I love helping others and I love volunteering, but in that moment I loved saying no. I wasn't overwhelmed for the first time in a long time.
So, next time you feel that you have to say yes. Say no. Don't spend hours coming up with an excuse, just say, "no, not this time."
