You’ve been wronged. We all have.

If you’re like me, though, you believe in second chances. Third chances, fourth chances even. Why, if a person is toxic, do we keep letting them back into our lives? Getting hurt by the same person over and over again only makes our already fragile emotional state feel like it is going to shatter.

You may think that your unwillingness to lose a friend is a weakness, but it isn’t. It’s a strength. You see the good in everyone; you can’t accept that there are people who don’t have as big of a heart as you do. You are afraid of losing a person who means so much to you over something silly.

No matter who it is, you forgive them because you like having them in your life. You don’t want them to leave. You don’t want them to hate you. You don’t want to lose the side of them that you like, so you put up with the side that brings you pain. You invite them back into your life time after time even though you know it isn’t a good idea.

You forgive them in the blink of an eye because you can’t stand the thought of them not being in your life. Do the good times make the bad times worth it? If they’ve wronged you time and time again every time after you forgive them, isn’t it time to let them go?

We’ve all done it; whether it be with a significant other or a friend. Letting someone go is a difficult thing to do. Every time you are reminded of a memory with them, you can’t fathom having to let them go. But sometimes, it serves as one of the best decisions you will ever make. If you keep forgiving them, they are in control of your life. They control your emotions, your mood, and therefore, your actions. It isn’t healthy. Sometimes forgiveness can be a good thing, for minor incidences. But when the same thing happens over and over again, it is okay to stand up for yourself. Losing a friend seems like the end of the world. It isn’t.

Think of it as a new beginning. A fresh start. A reason for you to surround yourself with people who genuinely care about you and your well-being. That doesn’t mean you should never forgive anyone, because forgiveness is a good thing. But forgiveness is something that needs to be earned. It can’t just be given right away, or they will come to just expect it. Forgiving someone time and time again out due to the fear of losing them isn’t fair to them and isn’t fair to you.

When it comes to forgiveness, put your happiness first. Caring about others is a virtue, but when you are sacrificing your own happiness for someone else’s, it would be smart to give it some thought before you just forgive them.