I can't begin to tell you how many times I've watched my friends, or heard stories, about girls whose ex-boyfriends think they can just pop up whenever, and say whatever they want, to just mess with her mind.
I think every girl has experienced this at least one time within their life.
But do us girls realize how this is affecting us? How he knows you'll fall for whatever he has to say?
I feel like we all know but still fall into the trap and think everything will be different this time... but it won't.
To all you girls who need a little wake-up call, a realization, and a chance to move on to someone who's a million times better... this is for you.
Dear Girl,
We've all have that one ex that pops up in our lives and makes it a million times harder to move on. It's kind of like guys have the sixth sense that you're doing ok, living your life the way you want it, and they feel the need to pop in and remind you of everything you don't want to be reminded about. But there are some things you need to keep in mind when this ex of yours comes around all the time, the first thing is he doesn't actually want you back.
He may have a new girlfriend, and swear up and down that he still loves you and wants to be with you. This may give you satisfaction, but this isn't true. If a guy wants to be with you, he's going to be with you. Even if right now isn't the ideal "time," he will choose to wait for you, and not be with anyone else. Do NOT fall for this.
You guys may have a 30-day snap streak, but does this honest to God mean anything? Anything more than you having a streak that you get anxiety about losing or the fact that he knows snapping you will make you think of him? Just because he's snapping you a picture of his food every morning doesn't mean you two will have the chance to get back together next month.
Now you're probably thinking, "Well, he texts me a few times a week, or whenever he's drinking." Stop thinking that him sending you that drunk text means that he really wants you. Whenever anyone drinks, and we're single af, we get lonely. When we're lonely, we cling to the times/people that made us feel loved. Chances are, he's just missing that feeling, and not you. A little harsh right? But we all know this is the case, we just like to sugar coat it for ourselves... STOP DOING IT!
What if he still tells you he loves you? Or that he misses you? Aren't those the two main things we want to hear? Guys know that and when they tell you that, their main goal is to keep you around without really keeping you.
Completely and utterly selfish.
When a guy loves you, nothing is keeping him away from you. Distance, age differences, school, work, none of that is an excuse for him to not want to be with you. Does he actually miss you? He probably does a little, but he isn't missing the relationship, or you all that much, if he isn't choosing to commit fully to you again.
Sometimes guys are scared to be alone. They'll see you out living your life, making new friends, accomplishing all these things and that's when it really hits them...you're slowly getting over them. The bottom line is, if a guy wants to be with you, he will be. There's no excuse, even ask your guy friends. Your guy friends are guys, so they know what your ex's plan is, and they'll be straight up with you.
Don't try and sugar coat his actions, and don't over think them. Guys don't over think situations, they don't put much thought into anything at all. Where us girls may think him "liking" our Instagram picture is him showing he still cares, it's not, took a second to do.
If your ex is playing these head games with you or leading you on, that's keeping you from someone who actually will give you 100 percent, stop it immediately.
It may sound childish, but the best thing to do when you have an ex is to unfollow them on everything, maybe even block them.
When they're not able to creep your stuff, and you're not able to creep theirs, it gives you a chance to fully move on. Maybe the space will make him realize things, and when he does he won't be playing those head games.
For now, keep being strong, keep moving forward, and don't fall for his games. You'll thank yourself in ten years when you're happily married to the guy you decided to give a chance to, the one you wouldn't of if your ex was still around.
Sincerely,
The girl who's tired of watching you hurt.
