"I've never been one of those girls who had a lot of friends who were girls. And now I do. And that's pretty cool." -Beca Mitchell, Pitch Perfect
Dear Tarra,
It is funny to think back to all of the years I sat wishing I had a girl best friend just like you. We met each other in 2013, but really did not become close until about a year ago. Can you believe it's only been a year?! Fate brought us together again and I will forever be thankful for that wonderful, tiny, miracle. Though we were never able to grow up having sleepovers together, trading lunches at school, or going on playdates with our moms at the park, the friendship we've had for the past year has been worth a lifetime of waiting.
I was so close to giving up on friendships, especially female friendships. Most of my close friends growing up were boys, and I was content with that. There was less drama and I didn't feel like I had to rush to grow up as fast as some of my female peers. Still, there was something I was always missing. I saw the two girls who had been friends since kindergarten posting pictures, seemingly every day, on Myspace. I heard the girls talking about getting ready for prom with their tight-knit group of gal pals. I knew that I didn't have that and while I didn't let it bother me for the most part, sometimes it did.
Sure, I had a girl best friend in high school. Though we didn't socialize outside of school as much as others, I was happy enough to have that one person to confide in at school. I continued my friendship with her on into college even though we went to different schools. We went through several boyfriends, and through the death of my dad. As she got more and more serious with her first boyfriend, however, I realized that she really had nothing to do with me anymore. It hurt my feelings tremendously, especially after all I had stuck with her through, but I did not feel like I should have to beg for her friendship...so I didn't. I was just beginning to heal from the unofficial end of that friendship when you came along. You not only put my pieces back together, but you also gave me a whole new puzzle to look forward to.
Though part of me wishes that I had had the chance to grow up with you, another part of me is glad that we didn't. You came into my life when I felt very hard to love. I did not have much to give to you. I had wasted so much energy on people who hadn't deserved it. Yet somehow, amazingly, you saw me as a gift anyway.
I guess what I am trying to convey is how much I love you, Tarra. You were there when I felt like no one else was. You taught me that I don't have to be skinny to be sexy. You opened me up to another side of myself. You made me feel worthy when I felt worthless. You gave me the fierce female friendship I have been searching for my whole life and you just keep on giving.
Thank you for being that friend to me, Tarra. Thank you for being motherly, sisterly, but most of all a best friend.
Love always,
Molly
