Dear he who shall not be named,
Even after all this time, I still do not know what I would say to you if you were standing right in front of me today. There are days when you do not even cross my mind at all and I am totally fine. Then I see something that randomly reminds me of some little stupid thing that you would do and I immediately am overcome by emotions for absolutely no reason. I would just like to start by saying I do not hate you, nor will I ever. I do not think I can ever hate because you changed the naive and stubborn girl that I used to be. You were the first person that brought out my soft side and I am forever grateful for that. I can still remember the huge smile I'd get when you'd text me and the way my heart would drop to my chest when I would see you around campus. You were the first person to truly have my heart and the first person to break it too.
Even though now I can never hate you, for the longest time I really really did. I hated you, your friends, I hated everything and anything associated with you. You really broke my hart, honestly shattered it. Since you were the first person to ever do so, I was lost. I thought it was my fault. I started blaming myself for everything, thinking I must have done something wrong for you to leave me. Because of you, I started to doubt myself, blame myself for what must have gone wrong, when in reality, it was all you and everything you did and did not do. You made me cry for no reason, not want to go out on the weekends, not even leave my bed. I would hear your name and instantly look down. Whenever I would talk to a new guys, I would try to find some small part of you in them and I would always get disappointed. I used to be super naive and think that I could never be that girl that gets all sad and upset over a boy but you proved that to be completely wrong. So even though you did put a dark cloud over my life for a while, I would like to thank you because you changed me for the better.
I would just like to thank you so much for everything. Thank you for the memories that I still think about here and there to this day. Thank you for showing me a side of myself I never knew existed. I honestly hope you are happy and have found someone that makes you just as happy. I could never be mad or bitter that we never worked out. It was just not meant to be and that is not either of our faults. I will always have a spot for you in my heart because you were an important person in my life.
Not broken anymore,
Angelica M.
