This isn’t a letter filled with hate or me telling you how much I hate you, it is actually a letter to thank you. Thank you for teaching me a lot of things that having a typical family never would have. Being a child of a single parent gave me a better perspective on so many things and though it was hard, I had an amazing family to get me through it, even without you.
Thank you for teaching me that no man's want for me, defines me. I grew up in a heavily female populated world and growing up without a singular strong male influence may have damaged my fishing abilities, but that was it. I learned to look towards myself for confidence and security. I learned from an early age that a man wanting me is not the most important thing in the world. That concept really helped me as a person in the years where most girls’ main focus is boys and dating.
Thank you for showing me how strong my mother is. Your absence has only shown me how amazing and dedicated my mother has been for the last 19 years. She gave up everything to make sure I lived a great, full life. She had to give me the important life talks that you weren’t there for and had to explain to a sad 6-year-old why she didn’t have a dad like all her other friends. She raised me to be the best I could be without ever acting like it was hard to do alone, even though I know it was. She never made me feel like it was my fault she was in this alone.
Thank you for leaving because, in your place, I was given several other people who wanted to be a part of my life. Many others took on your role and taught me what dads typically teach their children. Instead of having one father, I got a village. My uncle taught me to drive and how to change a tire. My grandpa taught me how to use tools and shoot a gun. My neighbor taught me how to throw a good punch. I had so many people in my life willing to be the father figure you were so scared of being and in the end I was better for it.
Thank you for not staying. I am glad you knew from the start you never wanted to be a father because at least I never had to meet you. At least you didn’t come into my life just to sit idly by while my mother raised me. I would rather have no father than have one who felt obligated to be there just due to genetics or it being “the right thing to do.” You could have really messed up my idea of a functional relationship if you had stayed and been a waste of space.
What this all boils down to is me saying thank you for leaving when and how you did. Because you left me in the most capable hands. I turned out to be amazing due to your absence. I am happy, healthy, well-adjusted and proud to be the daughter of the independent woman that raised me while you were hiding from your responsibilities.
