Hey, it's me.
I'm not sure how to begin this, because I don't quite feel you have the right to be called "dad" or any variation. Never once in my life have I thought of you as anything other than a stranger to me. Although you were within walking distance, you never came over...
I'm not mad that you aren't in my life. I've come so far without you. You're the one that's missing out on my life and the person I'm becoming. I've overcome countless challenges, and no doubt, I wish you were there, but you weren't-- and that's okay now. I'm okay. It's you that hasn't been able to see me at my lowest, and heck, you don't even deserve to.
I know that you and your family think that my mom forced you out, but that isn't the case. We wish just as much as you that you came around. It was your choice to leave. It was your choice to not visit me in the hospital after my car accident, and it was your choice to leave my dance recital before I went on stage. But hey, that's not a bad thing... if you did stay in my life, I probably wouldn't be the person I am today, and I am truly happier than I've ever been.
Don't get me wrong, I cried for years because you were never around. I hated missing out on so much in my life, I actually call it the "could've been" moments. I missed every father-daughter dance, and I missed out on that relationship with you. I became really mad growing up, mad that you weren't there and mad that you didn't make an effort to reach out to me in 21 years.
When I was with my ex-boyfriend, I had reached out to you because you were friends with his dad. I remember asking why you left. You said you weren't ready. I wasn't mad. I was confused because shortly after, you had another daughter, and she's your everything. Why wasn't that me? You were in walking distance from me all the time, and nothing. You made me feel like I wasn't good enough for you, or anyone for that matter.
All this time, I was wondering, where did I go wrong? What did I do that made you not love me? The problem was never with me. It was you. It has always been you. You never wanted me and I'm coming to terms with that. I'm so proud of myself.
I want to leave you with this
You've missed out on getting to know one heck of a person. Because of you leaving, I had no choice but to become resilient, strong, and just be grateful for what I do have. Because of you, I learned a lot about myself through the strongest person I know: my mom. She worked her butt off to provide for her kids. She still does to this day, and she truly taught me what strength was. In the future, if I'm half the parent she is to me, I'll be satisfied.
Signed,
Your daughter
Do You Secretly Have A B.S. In Sarcasm?