Honestly, I never thought I’d be writing this to you. Mainly because I thought that it didn’t matter or that you would never care, but I think everyone deserves to know the difference they make in the world around them no matter how insignificant it seems. That’s what you did. You made a difference in my life, but maybe not in the way you intended to.
Entering high school seems like a completely different world. You are no longer a kid, you are a teenager, which pretty much means you are a kid who thinks they’re grown. Coming to our huge high school from my tiny middle school was terrifying and I had no idea what to expect. I had a few friends but being as quiet and awkward as I was, I was just hoping I could blend into the background and pass the next 4 years without making too big of a splash. I never expected to meet you, the first boy I ever loved. I never expected to grow so much my freshman year or to experience so much. Looking back at that year, I learned more from you than I could have possibly asked for.
You are the one who taught me to love. Sure, parents love their children and the children know to tell their parents that they love them, but that doesn’t always teach you what love is. It took me loving you, not because I had to and not because I had anything to gain, but just because I loved who you were to make me understand what it meant to love someone. It means that you love them without expecting anything in return. It also means overcoming many obstacles together no matter what they are, this includes protective parents and friends who aren’t always the most supportive. In loving you, you also taught me to love myself. I began to see myself the way you did and that changed who I became in the long run.
You taught me that it is okay to let someone in. I had never actually trusted someone the way I did you. I kept all my deepest feelings and fears to myself. I didn’t talk about the things that bothered me, not because I didn’t want to but because I never felt like anyone would understand. I was afraid of how people would see me if they knew the real me. You changed that because once I let you in, I no longer had to do anything alone. I had someone to share everything with. You showed me that it was okay to let your feelings be known and to trust someone enough to let them in.
You also taught me that not all love is meant to last. Being young it seems like as long as you love the person, it will all work out in the end. Being with you showed me that it takes a lot more than love to make a relationship work. You can love someone with everything you have, but it doesn’t mean you will always be compatible. People grow apart and that isn’t always in your control. You showed me that love can change and you can always love someone, but sometimes it has to be from a far.
Thinking back, we were pretty young and we both still are. I’ve been asked by those close to me if I honestly thought what we had was real or if I thought that you felt the same way as me. I believe that it was and you did, but I also know that we weren’t the right people for each other. We were just the right people to teach each other some very important lessons in love so we could love the right people when the time came.
