To The Boy Who Called Her Crazy So Many Times She Believed It,

Manipulative doesn't even begin to cover you. You took a happy, confident, and grounded woman and you gaslighted her. She began to question what she thought was concrete knowledge; her belief in herself, and the belief in the people who actually cared about her. All so you wouldn't have to step up and be a real man.

You told her you loved her, that you cared about her, and that she was your one and only. But your phone told a different story; text messages, pictures, calls from unknown numbers. You didn't want to give up a good thing, but you wanted to have your cake and eat it too. Then when she confronted you about your behavior you called her crazy.

Is it crazy to expect loyalty, and honesty from someone you're in a relationship with? There is nothing crazy about wanting your significant other to be loyal to you, to stop talking to other people in a romantic way. That is the norm for a relationship. Loyalty has been turned into an enigma and demanding it has been turned into a ludicrous expectation. Honesty is the foundation on which any relationship is built. So every time you lied to her, you demolished the progress you had made and you had to start over. And every time you were caught in a lie and turned it on her, you whittled that strong and confident woman down into less and less, until even she didn't know what she had to offer.

You were blatant with your disrespect; you splashed it all over social media, in your attitude towards her in public and with the way you disregarded her concerns about the way you spoke to other women. You didn't even try to be discreet, you had the foolproof plan of turning this all back on her. It was her fault for checking up on your social media and seeing who you were texting. That's why you act the way you do, she drives you to be this way.

She knows what a crazy girl is, she has seen them, and until you came along she never considered herself one. She never followed you in her car, she never drove by your house to see if you were actually there, she called you and trusted you would answer instead. She didn't go through your phone or hack into your social media accounts, she saw that girl's name pop up on your phone while you sat next to her in the car. She didn't go through your text messages, she saw your phone light up with all the names that weren't hers. She didn't demand passwords or joint social media accounts, she just saw what you posted and were tagged in. She made no demands, she gave no ultimatums and you still called her crazy.

Did you call her crazy because it was easier than changing? Did you invalidate her feelings because it was easier than listening? You recognized her worth enough to bring her into your life, just not enough to respect her role in your life. And eventually, you brought her to believe her worth was less than. You broke her because it was easier than breaking bad habits.

The good news is she will walk away from you, she will regain her confidence, her worth, and while her walls may be a little higher now, the person who makes it over them will show her all the ways that you failed her. You were the sandpaper in her life. You hurt her over and over, and while your actions may have scratched her up and hurt her, in the end, she is polished and you are useless.

Sincerely,

The Girl Who's Rebuilt Herself