To The Boy Who Broke Me,
I’d like to begin this letter by thanking you. You have no idea how much you were able to help me, even though, at the time, it didn’t seem like you were.
My mom taught me to never be dependent on anyone, because you can never really have faith that someone will stay; but you were different. I could tell you anything, and I did. I shared every secret I’ve ever held with you and I would like to believe that you did the same for me, but you probably didn’t. I spent every ounce of my breath worrying about you and making sure that your life was going so much better than mine, but I’ve come to realize that you never did the same for me. It’s been two years since we last spoke, and I would be lying if I said they weren’t hard years. I would be lying if I said that there weren’t still days that go by when I don’t question what life would be like if you were still around.
I know you left for the best of reasons, but there was no way to explain that to me when you did. I don’t want to say that my entire world came crashing down, but something pretty close to that happened. Waking up in the morning became harder, because the idea of having to face anything without you was something I just couldn’t fathom. I hated you so much for leaving me to deal with myself and breaking every single promise we ever made. So much of my time was spent romanticizing who you were, and it wasn’t until a very short time ago that I realized that you were not the person I had convinced myself you were.
When you walked away, you took something from me that I have yet to recover, but that’s okay, because I can see now that what I gained was even better. You, my dear, broke my body and soul into a thousand pieces, but the person I built out of those pieces is so much better than before. I have so much more faith in myself now, because over the past few years, I’ve had to learn to stand on my own two feet, to take care of myself and my own heart. I no longer feel the need to have anyone else justify my emotions or actions, because I’ve found that, throughout life, I will have to deal with a multitude of people, but the one that I will always have to deal with, no matter what, is me. You taught me so much about life, but when you left, you taught me so much more about myself.
So thank you for breaking me. Thank you for being selfish so that I could make myself into a better person. A stronger person.
Sincerely,
-Me.
