An Open Letter to the Best Friend I Didn't See Coming

An Open Letter to the Best Friend I Didn't See Coming

Some people come into your life and change you forever—thanks, bestie.
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Dear best friend,

I wasn't expecting you when God placed you in my life. I had my friends. I had my people. I wasn't exactly open to the idea of new meaningful friendships because I had the ones I needed, and it didn't seem like I really needed anybody new.

Thank God that was false. Sometimes you meet people and you just know that you're going to be good friends with. Sometimes you meet people and you realize that there is no such thing as chance. I think God has a funny way of making it seem as if the things that happen to us are by chance, but honestly, that’s a load of crap. If the biggest moments of our lives were left up to chance, then I believe that would make God out to seem as if he didn’t care. It would make it seem as if He was truly abandoning me and making me face some of my most important seasons fully isolated. But you, best friend, are a true testament to the fact that God doesn’t just leave such important aspects up to chance. Thank you for taking a chance on our friendship, and thank you for allowing me to take a chance on what I didn’t realize would be the most impactful friendship in my entire life.

Thank you for being real with me. Thank you for not sugar coating things. Thank you for telling me when I have a bad attitude. Thank you for loving me through my mistakes. Thank you for supporting me in my decisions, even if it isn’t always the decision you would make. Thank you for wanting the best for me, and for making that your true intent behind the words that you say to me, whether they be constructive criticism or encouragement.

Thank you for being a goof with me. Thank you for putting me first. Thank you for seeing the importance of our friendship. Thank you for making time in your schedule for us to just sit and do homework, eat Mexican food, or sit on the porch and listen to music that emotionally wrecks you.

You’re one of a kind. You’re a shoulder to lean on. You’re a safe place. You’re a free spirit. You’re rough and tough, but your heart melts for the people you love and it’s obvious. You’re more than meets the eye. You are worth getting to know. You are worth loving. You pursue people. You are passionate about your future. You are everything that a person needs, and I really thank God that for some reason you continue to choose to be in my life. Thank you for literally dragging me up my mountains of fear when I want to stay exactly where I am at and wallow in the sadness. You bring joy—true joy—wherever you go. You are my best friend, confidant, and biggest fan. You will be the Maid of Honor, Godmother, and fun Aunt.

I used to think lifelong friendships weren’t really a thing. It just seemed like people always grew apart and forever was never a point that was attainable. Best friends forever is a cliché phrase that is continuously overused nowadays (sometimes, I even used to make light of it), but thanks for making that a reality. You are truly the best friend I could have asked for. So thank you for it all. You make life more fun, and I couldn’t thank God more for making an incredible human, friends with me.

I love you, pal!

JQ

Cover Image Credit: Julia Dee Qualls

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I'm A Woman And You Can't Convince Me Breastfeeding In Public Is OK In 2019

Sorry, not sorry.

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Lately, I have seen so many people going off on social media about how people shouldn't be upset with mothers breastfeeding in public. You know what? I disagree.

There's a huge difference between being modest while breastfeeding and just being straight up careless, trashy and disrespectful to those around you. Why don't you try popping out a boob without a baby attached to it and see how long it takes for you to get arrested for public indecency? Strange how that works, right?

So many people talking about it bring up the point of how we shouldn't "sexualize" breastfeeding and seeing a woman's breasts while doing so. Actually, all of these people are missing the point. It's not sexual, it's just purely immodest and disrespectful.

If you see a girl in a shirt cut too low, you call her a slut. If you see a celebrity post a nude photo, you call them immodest and a terrible role model. What makes you think that pulling out a breast in the middle of public is different, regardless of what you're doing with it?

If I'm eating in a restaurant, I would be disgusted if the person at the table next to me had their bare feet out while they were eating. It's just not appropriate. Neither is pulling out your breast for the entire general public to see.

Nobody asked you to put a blanket over your kid's head to feed them. Nobody asked you to go feed them in a dirty bathroom. But you don't need to basically be topless to feed your kid. Growing up, I watched my mom feed my younger siblings in public. She never shied away from it, but the way she did it was always tasteful and never drew attention. She would cover herself up while doing it. She would make sure that nothing inappropriate could be seen. She was lowkey about it.

Mindblowing, right? Wait, you can actually breastfeed in public and not have to show everyone what you're doing? What a revolutionary idea!

There is nothing wrong with feeding your baby. It's something you need to do, it's a part of life. But there is definitely something wrong with thinking it's fine to expose yourself to the entire world while doing it. Nobody wants to see it. Nobody cares if you're feeding your kid. Nobody cares if you're trying to make some sort of weird "feminist" statement by showing them your boobs.

Cover up. Be modest. Be mindful. Be respectful. Don't want to see my boobs? Good, I don't want to see yours either. Hard to believe, I know.

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Every Girl Who’s Ever Tried On Jeans Knows Thick Calves Are Just Problematic As Thick Thighs

They're arguably WORSE.

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I understand the issues with thick thighs. Your pants split at the seams, wear down between the thighs due to rubbing, and when summertime comes, the chafing can be so bad it can result in rashes (life hack: spray deodorant works great to prevent this!). Not to mention the struggle of finding shorts that don't cut off the circulation to the rest of your legs. I don't have the thickest of thighs, but I'd say that in proportion to the rest of my body, they're a decent size.

The issue I want to talk about, though, is thick calves. As a girl, I would argue this is an even bigger problem than thick thighs, at least at times. Don't agree? Let me shed some light on my situation.

One of the biggest issues that come to mind when I think about my thick calves is finding jeans (or pants in general) that fit properly. I hate jeans, I think they're very uncomfortable, and I've realized that my body proportions play a big role in this opinion. I prefer skinny jeans to any other style and I wear a size 5, which is the same size both of my older sisters wear.

If you know all three of us, you know that we have similarities in our body types, but we also have very different bodies. My oldest sister is shorter than me but has wider hips than I do. My middle sister is taller than me and has wider hips than I do. It doesn't make sense that I would wear the same size, does it?

This could have to do with the sizing system of women's clothing, which is a whole other article I could write, but it largely comes down to this: If the pants don't fit past my calves, I cannot wear them. Period. If I force it, they end up being the most uncomfortable things ever, not allowing me to even bend my knees due to the tightness of the fabric on my legs. Taking off jeans that are too small means you pretty much have to turn them inside out to do it, which gets frustrating.

So the simple solution is to just go up a size. The issue I then might face is finding pants that fit over my calves comfortably, but then are too loose around the waist because I don't have very wide hips. The simple solution then? Wear leggings and sweatpants in colder weather and skirts or dresses in warmer weather...

I have four years of marching band to thank for the thickness of my calves. Not to mention my adoration of high heels (I wore them a lot in high school, alright?) But when all is said and done, I would much rather have my toned legs than thin, potentially fragile legs (not that there's anything wrong with that either, bodies are built differently and I fully understand that!). I don't have a very feminine body to begin with (narrow hips, small chest, minimal curves), so it's actually really great to have nice legs because then I have something to feel good about.

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