Dear Shonda Rhimes,

Let me begin by saying what a big fan I am of the shows you create. You have such a talent for making viewers feel exactly the way you want them to about a character or a situation. I'm addicted to your shows. But watching "Grey's Anatomy" has long been a staple in my life. Now that I'm in college, I have to wait for it to come out on Netflix, at which point, I set aside a time to binge watch your masterpieces.

I know that no one loves your characters like you do, but as a diehard "Grey's Anatomy" fan, I think I might love them just as much.

For whatever reason, whether it be because he was fired or because he wanted to leave, Patrick Dempsey's departure from "Grey's" was inevitable. And, while I hate to see him go, because I have loved McDreamy since day one, I understand why, with his impending departure, he had to die. It sucks because it is so final. "Grey's" isn't like "General Hospital" where characters have identical twins and ghosts that pop out of nowhere to bring them back to the show.

So, while Derek Shepherd had to go, it still broke my heart. But, I forgive you for this. When you said that Derek walking away from Meredith and their kids would "suggest that their love was not true, that the thing we said for 11 years was a lie, and McDreamy wasn’t McDreamy," I couldn't agree more. This is the only reason I can forgive you. It took you a long time to regain my trust after you took Lexi and Mark away from me.

But, I have a lot of problems with the way that you did McDreamy's death.

First and foremost, what airport was he going to? Was it in the middle of nowhere? He was in the middle of Seattle, and you're telling me that he had to be driving in the middle of nowhere to get to the airport? I don't buy it. I get that he had to be there to help save the other people in the car crash, but I'm not sure that it needed to be in the middle of nowhere. This, compared to what is to come is only mildly irritating, so I will let it slide for now.

Second, who stops a car in the middle of a road to reach for their cellphone? Derek was a neurosurgeon, and a brilliant one at that. I find it unlikely that he, as a character, would be stupid enough to just stop halfway turned around.

Why wasn't he flown to Grey Sloan Memorial Hospital? He was stable enough. I don't think (because of reason one) that he was far enough that he couldn't have quickly been flown to Grey Sloan Memorial or another hospital with a trauma center.

Are the doctors at that hospital idiots? Shonda, with all due respect, as an avid watcher of "Grey's," I think I could have done a better job than those doctors. And I'm not in med school. I'm a philosophy major that has never taken a biology class in college. Why would you not get a CT scan for a blunt force trauma to the head? The only time would be if they are going to die immediately without one.

The rest of the death sequence, except for one tiny detail, was beautiful. My friend who doesn't watch "Grey's" even appreciated it. It brought her to tears, and she doesn't love Derek or Meredith like I do. The fact that a brilliant, legendary neurosurgeon died of brain death is filled with irony and fantastic. Any other way for Derek to go wouldn't have brought forth the same level of satisfaction. The fact that the entire time he was in the hospital we could hear him screaming in his head to get the CT, the fact that he would've been able to save himself, the fact that you can hear his last thoughts: It's all very haunting, beautiful, and brilliant. Shonda, my hat is off to you for that. Watching Meredith pull the plug was one of the hardest scenes to watch. But if the reason you killed off Derek was to preserve the love between him and Meredith, why, after he knew that he was going to die, that they were too incompetent to save him, was his last thought not of leaving Meredith alone to care for Zola and Bailey? That would've broken me, but in the best way possible.

Shonda, in essence, you had some really amazing elements to Derek Shepherd's death, but I had too many unanswered questions about the logistics of it all to have the closure that your viewers deserve. After all, we've been with the show for 11 seasons.

Love,

A concerned but dedicated "Grey's" fan

P.S. In case you want to see the scene where Meredith pulls the plug, here it is.