We make up a world full of diversity. We are able to accept that people are a different race or religion. We are able to accept that people identify as a different gender and that others choose to marry those of the same sex. We are able to accept that people have grown up in different homes with different family circumstances. With the acceptance surrounding us, I didn’t think it was too much to assume that I would be accepted for who I am. However, lately it seems as though there are people who want me to change. My question for you is, why?
I consider myself to be a creative person who is hardworking, driven, reliable and, above all, passionate about the things and the people she loves. I’m by no means the image of perfection, though. I'm quite often unsure of myself and I have a tendency to overthink everything that crosses my path. It seems that I can only find the negative in things and the positive doesn’t come quite as easily to me. At the end of the day, we are all human and are bound to come with our flaws.
What I’d like to point out is that, along with being flawed, we humans are also all different. We aren’t built with the same minds and I think a lot of people seem to forget this when comparing themselves to others. Just because you are effortlessly social does not mean that I am going to be as willing to put myself into a new situation with new people. Just because you find something to be fun does not mean I will feel the same way about it.
The way in which I approach the newness of a situation should be of no one’s concern. I approach it with caution, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that I intend to avoid it altogether. While some people dive right into the deep end of the pool, I like to test the waters. I’m not going into the pool if I feel that the water is too cold or if I see that there is an overwhelming amount of people swimming already. What good is it going to do me pushing me into the deep end of the pool if I’m not ready? You may mean well and want me to join in on the fun, but if I’m not ready to swim then I’m going to drown.
I’ve been judged my whole life by people like you who think they understand how my mind works and then criticize what they don’t like about it. For this very reason, I tend to keep myself from being exposed to new things too fast because I don’t want to once again be told that how I think and feel is wrong. It’s not that I don’t like trying change and new people -- it’s that I don’t like new people trying to change me.
While admitting we have flaws is a difficult thing to do, I’m learning to acknowledge and own up to every one of mine. I’m working to improve myself on my own. I don’t need someone who thinks they know what they’re doing trying to improve the way I’m living my life. Let me be the author, but most importantly the editor, of my own story. I have a feeling it’s going to be a great one.
