“What have I done?” was the only thought that ran through my head as I was dropped off at my dorm at the start of freshmen year.
Not “I’m excited for classes!!” or “I can’t wait to meet new people!!” or “I’m so pumped to be at the University of Washington!!” or any of the euphoric thoughts I had the months leading up to this moment. I simply felt dread as I was on my own for the first time ever.
This surprised me. I considered myself pretty independent throughout high school, and getting into the University of Washington was a dream come true. I thought the transition into college would be simple. I knew other students felt homesick, but I figured I wouldn’t at all. But that wasn’t the case.
I'm from Oregon, and Seattle wasn’t that far. I could easily catch a bus home for a weekend, but I wasn’t a quick 20-minute car ride away. Everything I had ever know for my entire life was three to four hours away. None of my friends decided to go to University of Washington, and many decided to attend Oregon State, which was typical for our high school. They were all together with familiar faces, and I knew no one. At first, I felt excited about this new prospect, but as my dad pulled away from the parking lot, I suddenly felt I made the biggest mistake of my life.
That first day, I sat in my dorm resenting my choice. All I wanted was to be back home, or attending a school close to my hometown and my old friends. Even when more freshmen moved into our hall, instead of being energized by meeting everyone, I felt disheartened. Everyone on my floor seemed to be from a local high school and had tons of friends already. I couldn’t relate to anyone. The feeling of isolation set in, and I felt like I was distancing myself from everyone else physically and emotionally,
Those first few days were awful. Even with the fun activities I convinced myself I needed to attend, I couldn’t get myself to feel excited for school, and I felt I couldn’t talk to anyone about it. However, everything changed on the day of the first football game. I decided to ask around to see if anyone was going, and ran into these two girls, Lauren and Isabelle. Both were from out of state, and one went to a high school 15 minutes from mine. It was the first time in three days that I felt connected to someone else, and these girls eventually became some of my best friends, but it took just meeting them to feel good about school.
While I wasn’t completely comfortable right away with being away from home, I eventually got there. Classes started, I joined some clubs, and hung out with Isabelle and Lauren all while making new friends. The transition was challenging, and I felt awful that first week, but leaving my hometown wasn’t the worst decision I made, but one of the best. At college, I was able to grow in ways I wouldn’t have if I had stayed home for school. It forced me to branch out of my comfort zone, and for that I am forever grateful of my decision.
Nearly everyone feels worried and homesick at some point at the start of college. I certainly did. But it’s normal. College is scary. Many freshmen go out on their own for the first time ever and leave the comfort of home. So freshmen, don’t feel alone if you feel homesick at all. Just keep calm, put yourself out there, be yourself, all the cliché things. But most importantly, know that even if you’re scared, investing in yourself and your education is in no way a horrible choice, even if you might feel that way at the start.
