Dear Ohio,
As a resident of your state, I’m sure you’d appreciate some feedback and polite suggestions I have to offer you. We’ve maintained a fairly good relationship up to this point, and I want to assure you that there are many positive qualities about you. Cuyahoga Valley National Park, Hocking Hills, Cedar Point…don’t ever doubt yourself when the haters show up when you have credentials like that. But I have been wondering about your health and well-being lately.
Maybe you’ve noticed – it’s unclear – but the weather has been pretty wacko lately. Now, people are quick to mutter with derision, “That’s Ohio for you,” but I want to tell you that you don’t have to accept the identity that uncaring people place on you. You are more than this, Ohio. I don’t know your situation and I don’t know what you’re going through right now, but please remember how special you are and how many people are counting on you. I leave for school every day with an umbrella, sunscreen, winter coat, shorts, tank top, sandals, extra wool socks and boots, and I need to tell you (as a friend) that this is simply unacceptable. Maybe life’s been hard for you and you’re intoxicated. Or maybe life’s been super fantastic for you and you’re intoxicated.
Or maybe you just misplaced your calendar and have no idea what month it is so you try to cover them all in one week. Whatever it is, know that you can get help. I’m here for you, and there are trained professionals out there who can help. I did some research for you, and found All Weather Fixers in Wisconsin. They offered no description of their program, but it sounds like something you should look into. We all lose it sometimes, but it’s time to get it together, Ohio. Please don’t make me cut off our friendship.
Hope to be forever yours,
An Ohio gal who just wants to know if she can take the snow tires off of her car
