Hi. I first wanted to let you know that when you hit my beloved college town with the first snowstorm of the season, it was extremely delightful. However, it was only delightful for about two days. Consistently being asked if I "wanna build a snowman" (a reference to Frozen) became a little too much for me. I am writing this as I sit in my frat castle looking out the window in late February. and you are still here and refuse to leave. You are beginning to take on the face of a stage five clinger. I am sorry, but you need to go.
Sadly, I cannot seem to remember what the warm weather and the sun on my skin feels like. That is a definite sign that your stay in good ol' Bloomington has lasted much longer than you are welcome. I understand that breakups are hard for everyone, but know that we will see each other again.
Instead of hanging our heads, let’s just think of all the wonderful things we will be able to enjoy in the warmer weather. One of the main things that sticks out in my head when I think about the spring at IU is darty season. It practically speaks for itself. Darties are a common tradition, here, and we just cannot have one with you around. A short break from darties might be okay, but would we students really want to go through an entire school year without one? See, partying outside in the warm weather is just more fun. This leads me into my next two points -- Quals and the Little 500.
Since you are not usually around for this (thank God), let me explain. Quals is a lead-up to the famous Little 500 bike race in which all of campus is wide awake in the wee hours of that Saturday morning pouring unknown amounts of cheap alcohol down their throats (I swear that the only people who do this are over 21) in preparation for the two-minute time trial.
Before we know it, the day in April finally arrives -- the Little 500 race day. I need to break this down for you because snow and Little 500 get along about as well as IU and Purdue (ew). Urban Dictionary defines the Little 500 as “a week of mind-blowing, wasted-beyond-your-wildest-dreams, non-stop parties where class shuts down and drunken students stumble from bar to bar, frat to frat, street to street, drinking everything in sights and no amount of alcohol poisoning can stop them.” That is a lot to take in all that once, I know. And, yes, this really happens. Oh, and there is a bike race, or something like that, that happens, too, I think. I mean, they don’t call it the world’s greatest college weekend for nothing, right?
I really hope that by now you have started to get the picture. The warm spring weather simply brings out the best in everyone and you do not exactly always do that. In life, sometimes, we just have to pick and choose, and I am going to have to pick darties, Quals, and the Little 500 over you. I’m sorry, but that is just the way it is. Well, this is where we say goodbye, so I guess I will see you when I see you.