Dear Not So Ugly Naked Lady,
First, allow me to congratulate you on your exquisite feminine figure. If you have a workout regime that you wouldn’t mind sharing, do pass along the details. I know I am not the only one who likes the idea of working toward a healthier physique, and am certain that whatever you’re doing is working. Your perky boobs and shapely rump are truly an inspiration to my housemates and I. In fact, admiring your birthday suit is now a common, accidental pastime in our house. We have yet to seek out your naked-self, but luckily, we don’t have to. You don’t use your blinds an awful lot, so we’ve got a fabulous view just about anytime we use our staircase.
We really admire your confidence. More often than not, we find you strutting your stuff in your apartment with company around, so we are assuming that your self-confidence levels are at an all-time high. However, perhaps we are wrong to assume that your self-confidence drives this bold lifestyle choice. Maybe you’re not as self-assured as my housemates and I presume you to be. Could it be that, for you, nudity is not as sexualized as it is for the society that you live in? We are so curious. The amount of times I personally have considered marching across the street to inquire about your nudity is ridiculous, but then I think about the embarrassment I’d find myself consumed with. I realize that I would have to reveal to you that I, a stranger, have taken a keen interest in your body from my second-story window. Seems a bit unsettling. At the same time, you, naked lady, are the one with the blinds wide open. Your carefree exposure is what gained my housemates and my attention in the first place. So tell us, does your nudity stem from a stance you’ve taken against sexualizing the naked body -- specifically, the naked female body? Or are you simply comfortable enough in your own skin and have your heat turned up so high that you can leave the layers behind?
Your body language’s attitude is as nonchalant as it gets, which stuns me, because I know very few people who come across as secure with their bodies as you do. I am not the only one who pretends like the bathroom mirror doesn’t exist before hopping in the shower. So the fact that you run around your apartment stark naked is shocking yet empowering. The day I am confident enough to roam my house in the nude, blinds pushed back and all, I will have to personally track you down and thank you for the encouraging moments my housemates and I have shared with you. We are thoroughly impressed and are saddened to think that there will come a day when we will no longer live across the street from you. The "Friends"-like moments you have provided us with have lead to hours of bonding, and so, regardless of your motives, we thank you for bringing us together over such a unique event.
Sincerely,
One of your many captivated neighbors
P.S. Sure, Monica and Rachel might have had ugly naked guy, but we'll take you over him any day. Congrats again on that fab bod of yours.
