Hey you. Yeah you. I'm writing this letter to you obviously, because in the title I blatantly called you out. Whether I am praising your for being a good person, condemning you and your entire existence for making me listen to too many Taylor Swift songs the night before writing this, or praying to God for the 15th time this month for him to send me a "good 'ole god-fearing man" that loves him more than a person right in front of him, these letters are for you guys. And have nothing to do with the fact that I couldn't think of anything the night before so I just decided watch a bunch of emotional videos about happy couples or Moms and their daughters being besties and got caught up on it. This one is for you, the real MVP, the one who actually does not care about the ramblings of semi-literate college students.
1) Thank you for scrolling past this and not even bothering to click on it. I actually really appreciate it.
2) Thank you for writing a hateful comment on my post telling me how much you hate my existence and I am the reason for the economic struggles of this generation. Thanks for telling it like it pops.
3) Thank you for rolling your eyes after begrudgingly opening this article because you're just that bored and kind of want to get mad at something. Better than actually doing something productive amirite?
4) Thank you for letting me tag you in this if it was one of the praising ones. I really appreciate the obligatory like and share you have to give it now! Thanks! I need views. Help.
5) And if it was one of the scathing ones, thanks ole ex of mine for not responding to it. Things get really awkward when they actually get to hear the other side of the story and maybe you weren't a serial killer in disguise, but shhhh they'll never know and neither will you because you probably blocked me months ago. :)
6) Thank you God for doing God things and just silently nodding and grimacing at the cringy things I'm writing while not responding. Really appreciate the consistency man.
7) Now back to the people that really matter, the people that do not care. You da real MVP. Your cynicism and ability to "perceive reality" instead of a fantasy bring down the dreamers like me who thing everything is either sunshines and rainbows or crippling self diagnosed depression.
8) Your attitude is fantastic. Whenever I need to be reminded that I can't actually pursue writing as a career with my sub-buzzfeed levels of writing quality I just need to look to you.
9) Last but not least, thank you for always being serious and never taking a joke. If people could learn to lighten up a bit the world would just fall apart right? Gotta stay stern. For 'Merica.
If you got this far, then this letter probably wasn't for you. I exclusively wrote this for people that didn't care and if you cared enough to get this far then I'll let you know that I am very disappointed in you. I expected more from you, you were the chosen one! I dedicated an entire article to you and now you go and prove me wrong! My life is a lie!!!
