Hey there,

I wish there was a way to go back in time to give you this letter. I know it would have helped a lot. You probably have so many questions about what life is like right now, I know at fifteen I always wondered where I would be in five years. In case you’re worried you still love Taylor Swift as much as you do right now. Right now you’re a freshman in high school and I know how scared you are. You’re trying so hard to fit in and adjust to a new school and new people. It seems hard because all these kids already know each other, they already went to grade school and the junior high together. Being the new girl isn’t easy, but it’s okay, you’re going to be just fine. Trust me. You are smart kind and have a heart the size of the Eiffel Tower. Don’t ever let anyone take advantage of that. You are stronger than you know and even on your worst days you still shine. Please do not allow others to define who you are, do not let them try to stain your sparkle.

I often wonder what you would think of me, if you knew who this is who you turned out to be. Would you be proud, or disappointed? I know I have made some choices you would never believe you’d make. I know I made mistakes, but trust me you learn from them. They were not your proudest moments but they did make you a better person. They were lessons that helped you learn and grow into someone I think you would be proud of today. You lost a lot of people in your life who you thought would be there forever. Most of them were for a good reason but some, you will never understand why they left or why you drove them out. You’d never believe who you lost contact with (spoiler alert that person comes back). I promise you that every day I do my best to make the best decisions that would make both of us proud. You would be happy to hear that in high school you did find someone who turned you’re whole world around. I know you were always scared that boys wouldn’t like you. It’s hard being the friend of the other girls the boys want to date. You two had many amazing moments together that you will never forget, no matter how hard you try. You would never imagine you’d be living life without him. I’m not going to go into detail on that because even though it was a rollercoaster that is something I do not want you to miss out on. I promise you won’t regret it. I know right now you’re not getting along with the siblings; they’re always picking on you. You’ll be surprised to hear you actually get along now and continue to grow closer. I know you’re jaw is going to drop when you find out your little brothers are the closest to you. Crazy right? They were unbearable growing up. Oh, and you know that nickname Pop-Pop always called you that you hated growing up because you thought it made you sound like a boy? Well, that’s the only name all your friends in college know you by and you love it. I know you felt like a shadow in high school but you broke out of your shell in college and made so many incredible friends. Just so you know your roommate sophomore year is crazy but you can’t live without her.

I know it seems like I have everything figured out over here, trust me I don’t. There are some things I have yet to figure out and I pray to God you learn those things. Do not let others purposely hurt you. It happens quite a bit and you are better than that. With that said you should be less forgiving, at least to those who don’t deserve it. We both know when you say “it’s okay”, it’s really not, especially after the hundredth time. I know you believe everyone deserves a second chance but people will and do take advantage of that. Do not let anyone make you feel any less than what you are. You are something great and have a bright future ahead of you and anyone who does not respect you enough to appreciate you does not deserve you. That girl that is always putting you down and making you want to change who you are is not your friend. A real friend sticks by you through thick and thin and holds you when you cry. You have walls and are very guarded; which honestly isn’t a bad thing. However, do not be scared to let others in. Not everyone will hurt you and not everyone intends to leave. I know some people will hurt you and they will leave but they will teach you something you will forever hold and learn from. Grow confidence and don’t be afraid to say how you feel. I promise you, you regret every last word you bit your tongue on and did not say. I know it’s scary, feeling vulnerable to someone, but you are going to regret not letting someone in particular in. If they knew, they might’ve stayed around. I know ignoring someone is easy, especially when they have hurt you more than anyone ever before, but they deserve your words. I know you like to run away from things that hurt you and scare you but you need to learn to stand on both feet and stay. Do not run. Face whatever it is that comes your way. You have never disappointed yourself when you have stood up for yourself. Finally, learn to love yourself and put yourself first. You are so important and worth so much. Don’t forget that. You matter. You have incredible friends and family that you would not trade for anything and who will always be there for you.

Remember you are beautiful inside and out. Do not allow anyone to take that away from you. I hope in five years you look in the mirror and see me and I hope you smile. I know I smile looking back on you.

Love,

Someone I hope you are proud of.