Dear Uber driver,

You have given us college students so many reasons to thank you. Along with every single thank you, come two apologies. We can all agree it’s not always easy putting up with college students, much less at 2 a.m. But to you, Uber driver, you take our craziness in stride. Sometimes, you even embrace it. On behalf of every college student, thank you, and I am sorry.

First off, I am sorry for starting the night off a little rough. I know your new Cadillac is only supposed to fit four people, but there just happens to be nine of us. I know there are only four available seats but there are also four available laps, and even a usable trunk. We would love to call an extra Uber, but you are already here. And we don’t want to make you have to wait. I’m sorry for bringing a lot of extra friends, but I would like to say thank you. Thank you for letting us reach the maximum capacity. And for popping the trunk when we were in need.

Second, I am sorry for being obnoxious. In literally every way possible. The car ride to the destination is usually a lot of fun for us, but a huge stressor for you. I just wanted to roll down the window, stick my head out and sing. I understand this is probably illegal, and I apologize. I’m sorry for all of the questions I always ask you. I know you told me your name was Jerry five times, but it just won’t stick in my brain. I appreciate you answering all of my detailed questions about your other job, your family, your parents, your children, your grandchildren, your hometown, where you went to college, where you went to high school, your favorite food and color, your age, your weight, eye color and every other question in the world.

And I know I asked you 10 times if you like being an Uber driver, but I just didn't believe your answer, so then I ask you, “Why?” 20 times. I just usually need a detailed explanation as to why you enjoy driving drunken college students around, besides the fact that you must be crazy.

My next apology, but the best part of the ride, is about blaring my obnoxious rap music. I know I disregarded the fact that your favorite genre is country, but have you heard any of Fetty’s new songs? It’s kind of hard to throw up the sideways peace sign and nod your head to Rascal Flatts. And jamming out to country music on my Snapchat can’t happen. Also, I know I almost busted out your speakers, but how was I supposed to know the bass was about to drop. I will take full responsible for damaging everyone’s eardrums. My bad. And thank you so much for letting me use your aux cord by the way; you, once again, are a lifesaver.

So, I know that this is the fourth time I‘ve had you pull over in the street, but nobody will answer their phone. I’m sorry that I can’t decide where I want you to drop us off, but thank you for being so patient. But what I am even more thankful for is the fact that my friends and I are being dropped off in a 2015 Mercedes (thanks, Leo). I always thought every Uber driver was required to own a brand new car because I haven’t seen anyone driving a hoopty.

And for my last apology, I am sorry for calling you 13 times. The app said it would be seven minutes and it had been nine. I just wanted to make sure you didn’t get lost because when I was tracking your car you were at the stop sign for a really long time. I shouldn’t have called you so many times, but you were making me nervous. You were about to kill my vibe until you finally showed up. And I know it took 10 minutes to get everyone out of the house and into the car, so that makes us even now.

Finally, thank you Uber drivers. You are literally always there for me. You’re like a laid back parent who doesn’t get mad that I’m in need of a ride home at 3 a.m. All of us college students really do appreciate your services and putting up with our drunken selves.

P.S. And to everyone who’s Uber I have stolen before, I’m sorry to you as well. But it’s not my fault the drivers always believe my name is Steven.