Dear Mom and Dad,

As you know, I’ve picked up a minor obsession in the past few days. And it’s not Pokémon Go, shockingly. It’s not even a new show I’m binge-watching on Netflix. It’s mini pigs. Yes. Tiny bundles of oinking cuteness.

A screenshot of some of my recent Instagram follows (ignore the quokka and marsupials-- I got sidetracked, OK?)

I promise you, this isn’t even all of them. That’s half of what I followed this week in addition to the four or five accounts I was already following before. I highly recommend all these mini-pig accounts for your Instagram-scrolling pleasure. High-quality entertainment. *not shown above but an all-time favorite: @pumpernickel_the_minipig*

After constantly showing you pictures of mini pigs, Dad, you finally remarked sarcastically, “Something is telling me you want a mini pig.” To which I responded with a big fat, “Duh.”

But then I started thinking about it… What if I could actually convince my parents to let me purchase and care for my very own mini pig?! I decided to make it my mission. I decided I would text you each day a new reason why I needed a mini-pig in my life.

Day 1:

And then after Day 1 of Mission Get Rachel a Pig (to which my you didn’t even reply--how rude), I promptly gave up on my plan of texting you every day because frankly, I am lazy. So, instead of daily texts, I am putting it all in one place. Here are just a sampling of some of the many reasons a mini pig would be an excellent addition to our family.

First of all, they’re just so darn cute.

They love belly rubs.

They love going on walks.

They love eating fruit.

They love… playing the guitar.

But really, pigs are very smart and love to learn! We could teach our pig to sit, fetch, roll over, smile for all the adorable pictures I’ll be posting of our pig on social media… It’s actually said that pigs are smarter than dogs, and even smarter than chimpanzees! Wow!

And speaking of dogs, we can’t forget our current pet, our beloved puppy, Nayla. Don’t you think our sweetheart would love to have a friend?! Dogs and pigs have the potential to get along great, as shown by these pictures.

Look-- there’s even a Rhodesian Ridgeback (our dog’s breed) getting along with a baby pig! They’ll be the best of friends! Read the story about this dog and pig here. Too cute!

I mean, dogs also sometimes eat pigs, so you can’t leave them together unsupervised… But our dog is a mushball who wouldn’t hurt a fly, and anyway, we can just keep them in separate rooms when we leave the house. Don’t worry.

As I mentioned in Day 1 of Mission Get Rachel a Pig, we could even train our pig to be a theraPIG!

As stated by http://americanminipigassociation.com-- yes, this is a real thing, “Pigs have been recognized by families of children with autism to help with vocalization and calming. Pigs have been known to detect low blood sugar in their owners with diabetes or detect and warn of oncoming seizures. They can ease anxiety and panic attacks and improve the symptoms of depression and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder in some individuals.” We could use our darling piglet to help people and to spread love and joy to all!

So, Mom and Dad, I think I’ve been pretty persuasive here. A pig would be an adorable presence in our lives, an intelligent companion, a friend to our dog, and a shining beacon of joy for all of society. Pretty pleeeeaaase?