An Open Letter To My Musical Self
Dear the musical side of my personality,
Let me start off by saying thank you. Thank you for how much you’ve shaped me into a person. I started music when I was very young with just the basic Sunday School music, the music class at school, and piano lessons every week. As time went on, I became more and more musically involved and by my senior year of high school, I had been in two musicals, sang numerous times in church —both solos and in the choir, had countless entries in vocal and instrumental solo and ensemble festivals, auditioned and been selected for honor choirs and orchestras, and uncountable orchestra and choir concerts. At the end of my senior year I had to decide which activities I was going to participate during my first year of college. I had been singing for as long as I can remember and had played the viola ever since fifth grade. I had no idea how I was possibly going to decide what to do.
I finally decided to only do choir during my first year of college, and I’m so glad I did. Throughout my life, choir has been such a place of growth for me. I’ve not only grown as a singer, but also as a person. I’ve formed lasting friendships, grown my social skills, learned how to overcome stressful situations, strengthened my leadership skills, and not to mention actually learned about music and music history. Yes, orchestra did all the same things for me, but I never thought of myself as all that good of a viola player. I thought of myself as a better singer than I did a viola player. So, I chose to audition for a vocal scholarship, and I got it. My first year of choir in college was amazing! The director was absolutely fabulous! She pushed us to be not only better singers, but better people. She always brought such an energy to rehearsal, and became a role model for all of us. The other women I sang with were incredible too. They were all such amazing singers and brought something different to the group. Even though there were a lot of us in choir, there was this sense of family throughout the whole year that only strengthened with time. I couldn’t have asked for a better choir experience this past year.
And this is where is gets hard. My first year of choir at college, will most likely be my last. I am not auditioning for choir next year, and don’t foresee it happening in the future either. It was a tough decision for me to make, but I finally came to the conclusion that it’s time for music to take a back seat instead of the passenger seat from now on. Right now I need to focus on my academics and my course of study. I need to stop trying to do everything and stop filling up my schedule to maximum capacity in order to keep my sanity, and really enjoy life. I’m in no way saying music was a burden, but it’s just not something I feel I can devote enough time to. Also, I’m not cutting music entirely out of my life, I’d love to still sing in church, both solo and with the choir, and I’ll attend musical events when I can to support my peers. Music will always be a part of my life somehow, but right now, it’s time for it to take a backseat.
So to my musical self, thank you.
