Only three weeks stand between you and me. To be honest, I never thought this time would come. My whole life so far has been preparation for the next step of education: elementary school for middle school, middle school for high school, high school for college, and college for the future ambiguously referred to as “the real world." We’re so often given the impression that once college ends, so does our youth -- as if earning a degree is supposed to magically land us a secure job and transform us into full-fledged adults. After spending 16 years in the education system, receiving constant guidance from teachers and fellow students, the prospect of graduation can be nerve-wracking and even downright horrifying.

So, with all these things in mind, how am I feeling?

First and foremost, I am anxious. These next three weeks will be among the most stressful in my life. I have literal stacks of final projects to finish and 15-page papers hanging over my head like a heavy cloud. I have to balance all of this with my job, extracurriculars, and trying to figure out what my next move is. As a college senior, you can scarcely go out in public without hearing, “Got a job yet? How’s the hunt going?” While I recognize these are perfectly valid questions to ask, I don’t think “I don’t even know what I’m having for breakfast tomorrow,” is an ideal answer. It isn’t as though I’m not actively seeking a job, but sometimes 1 million responsibilities at once feels a little bit like drowning. Within the next six months, I’ll also have to face the reality of paying back my student loans. This scary world called “adulthood” is finally on my doorstep, and quite frankly, I’m terrified.

I’d also be lying if I said that I wasn’t a little bit sad. Graduation is nothing if not bittersweet. I’ve been looking forward to the freedom of college since I started high school as a naive and extremely shy teenager. Back then, four years felt like an eternity, but now it feels like I’ve barely had a chance to blink and suddenly, I’m graduating. In some ways, I think I took the time I had in college for granted. I had a wonderful experience, but it took me until my junior year to realize just how many opportunities college offers for students. I wish I had branched out and taken more classes outside my major sooner, and gone out of my way to join more activities and meet even more people. But this doesn’t change the fact that I honestly feel college has been the best part of my life so far. In college, I’ve learned how to be more comfortable in my own skin and discovered who my real friends are. I’ve met so many wonderful people who have left lasting impressions on me, and I’m still not sure how I’m going to handle not seeing them every day.

Yet, despite the lingering negative feelings, I can’t wait to see what post-graduation life has in store for me. Having a degree opens up doors to many more possibilities and finally gives me the chance to chase after my dream jobs. For the first time ever, I have the freedom to go wherever and be whoever I want. Ideally, I’d like to travel and see the world, meeting lots of people and trying lots of different things. I also plan to pursue an MFA in creative writing, allowing me to focus exclusively on doing what I love.

Too often people act like youth ends the second we cross that stage. It’s easy to get caught up in the depressing notion that we must settle into one career and work tirelessly until we die. But in reality, this period should be for exploring our options and taking the time we need to learn how to stand proudly on our own two feet.

Every time I feel anxious or depressed, I have to remind myself that graduation is not the end.

In fact, in many ways, it’s just the beginning.