I was never positive about what career path I wanted to follow in life. To be honest, currently at the age of 22, I’m still not. Since I was a teenager, my family always asked me what I was going to do with my life, who exactly I wanted to become, and also what I’m passionate about. I always said I would "figure it out," but the truth is: I’ve know all along exactly what I am passionate about and what title I want to hold in life. The simple truth is that GEO, Boss, Partner or Co-partner all mean so little to me. I mean, don't get me wrong--I hope and even expect to be a boss some day, however the only title I don't think I could survive without ever holding is being a Dad. I always thought of the role of being a father to be one of the most important and meaningful roles a man can have. I know that I might not be able to give you all of the nicest things in the world, and maybe we won't go to eat at fancy places or vacation every year, but take it from someone who has had very nice material items--they mean absolutely nothing at all.

I think one of the many reasons why I’ve known I wanted to have my own family since I was so young is that I’ve seen the emptiness that material items leave people with. Big fancy luxury cars, high teach computers--all provide temporary happiness and that's about it. I have the full knowledge that no material item will ever make me truly happy. Most other men in this position would be working entry level jobs and spending every penny on toys and alcohol for themselves. Instead of that, I’m choosing to plunge myself into more student debt so I can go back to school and get a really good job so that I can eventually support you without having to struggle to raise you and then later on decide to go back to school. My mother had to do that and I respected her for it, but it was a strain on me. Also, my farther worked long hours in construction and part of the reasons as to why I chose to be the only man in my family to not go into construction was to have a better schedule to spend with my future children. This is why I am choosing to have you later in life when I’m established.

There are two big aspects I fear you might struggle with. Most likely you will be adopted. The moment I found out that a genetic condition would make it difficult to reproduce, I instantly decided to adopt before even thinking about the rest of my condition. Side note: be happy your most likely not genetically made up of my DNA, because thyroid conditions really do suck. My only fear about adopting you is that one day, you’ll leave me and find your “real parents.” Please don't do this. But if you do meet them, please don't ever tell me.

The second fact that scares me (but also might mean you're not actually adopted, and in this case, ignore the previous paragraph) is that you’ll have two dads. A lot of gay men don't want kids for a number of reasons, and one is that it can be a struggle for children to have two dads and no mom. Honestly I used to think this way and was just planning on staying single to have you and to hide you from that side of me. I thought gay couples weren’t really capable of being like other couples, however recently that changed. In the past year I was exposed to several unconventional families and I came to the conclusion that they actually tend to work better together and are much more open with each other then conventional ones. I just hope you’re not bullied and that you’re okay with not having a mother. I hope that your proud of me and that we spend a lot of time together and I promise that no matter what I have to do, I will do anything to make sure you have a happy, healthy life.