An Open Letter to My Friend Who Passed Away

An Open Letter to My Friend Who Passed Away

Things I never had the chance to say
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To my friend who passed away,

I want you to know that I think of you every day. I want you to know that I miss you more than anything, and I would give anything to talk to you one last time. I still remember the last time that I saw you. You were leaving for home, and I begged you not to leave. I told you that I would miss you so much and that I knew it would be a while until I saw you again. For some reason, when I hugged you, I felt like it would be the last time I saw you. Looking back now, I wish I would have spent more time with you, shared more stories with you, and made more memories.

You were the happiest person I knew. I only saw you upset one time in your whole life, and every other time you were smiling the brightest smile I've ever seen. I look at old pictures and videos I have saved of our memories, but it's just not the same, but I know you are happy still. Although it is cliché, I know you are in a better place.

This year has been so hard for me, and so much has happened, but I know you have guided me in the right direction. Somehow, you still influence my life, even if you aren't here. I can't even count the amount of times I needed to talk to you, to call you, because you were the only person I knew would understand my problems or situations I was going through.

I was lucky enough to not experience the death of a loved one until you left my life, but losing someone as precious and perfect as you was the hardest thing I ever had to deal with. All of my accomplishments and achievements since that day have been because of you because I constantly ask myself what you would do whenever I am faced with a tough situation. I know if you were here you would say I am being ridiculous for being so sad, you would laugh at me and tell me to be positive, and you would drive me around in your car, blasting music.

There is a song that came out a few months after you left, and I know you would have loved it so much. I wish I would have been able to show it to you. I'm also sorry for never painting the canvas you wanted, but I painted one a few months ago anyway because I know you would've wanted me to. I wish I had all the pictures of us that you hoarded on your phone, and I wish I could remember that one thing I said that made you spit out your water across the room.

I want you to know that I remember your laugh, your stories, and your tattoo. I remember the way we felt when we realized we were the same person when we decided to be each others bridesmaids, and when we were nervous for the first day of college. I wish I would have FaceTimed you when you asked me to, and I wish I would have visited you like I said I would. I know that doesn't matter anymore, but I thought I would let you know.

So, I just miss you. Thank you for being the most influential person I've ever met, for accepting and loving everyone, and for being someone that impacted the lives of so many. You will never be forgotten.


Cover Image Credit: Meredith Bennett

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An Open Letter to the Best Friend I Didn't See Coming

Some people come into your life and change you forever—thanks, bestie.
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Dear best friend,

I wasn't expecting you when God placed you in my life. I had my friends. I had my people. I wasn't exactly open to the idea of new meaningful friendships because I had the ones I needed, and it didn't seem like I really needed anybody new.

Thank God that was false. Sometimes you meet people and you just know that you're going to be good friends with. Sometimes you meet people and you realize that there is no such thing as chance. I think God has a funny way of making it seem as if the things that happen to us are by chance, but honestly, that’s a load of crap. If the biggest moments of our lives were left up to chance, then I believe that would make God out to seem as if he didn’t care. It would make it seem as if He was truly abandoning me and making me face some of my most important seasons fully isolated. But you, best friend, are a true testament to the fact that God doesn’t just leave such important aspects up to chance. Thank you for taking a chance on our friendship, and thank you for allowing me to take a chance on what I didn’t realize would be the most impactful friendship in my entire life.

Thank you for being real with me. Thank you for not sugar coating things. Thank you for telling me when I have a bad attitude. Thank you for loving me through my mistakes. Thank you for supporting me in my decisions, even if it isn’t always the decision you would make. Thank you for wanting the best for me, and for making that your true intent behind the words that you say to me, whether they be constructive criticism or encouragement.

Thank you for being a goof with me. Thank you for putting me first. Thank you for seeing the importance of our friendship. Thank you for making time in your schedule for us to just sit and do homework, eat Mexican food, or sit on the porch and listen to music that emotionally wrecks you.

You’re one of a kind. You’re a shoulder to lean on. You’re a safe place. You’re a free spirit. You’re rough and tough, but your heart melts for the people you love and it’s obvious. You’re more than meets the eye. You are worth getting to know. You are worth loving. You pursue people. You are passionate about your future. You are everything that a person needs, and I really thank God that for some reason you continue to choose to be in my life. Thank you for literally dragging me up my mountains of fear when I want to stay exactly where I am at and wallow in the sadness. You bring joy—true joy—wherever you go. You are my best friend, confidant, and biggest fan. You will be the Maid of Honor, Godmother, and fun Aunt.

I used to think lifelong friendships weren’t really a thing. It just seemed like people always grew apart and forever was never a point that was attainable. Best friends forever is a cliché phrase that is continuously overused nowadays (sometimes, I even used to make light of it), but thanks for making that a reality. You are truly the best friend I could have asked for. So thank you for it all. You make life more fun, and I couldn’t thank God more for making an incredible human, friends with me.

I love you, pal!

JQ

Cover Image Credit: Julia Dee Qualls

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Being No One's First Option To Hang Is Chill Because I Am My First Option

You are not the 1st person someone calls to hang out. You may be on the call list, but you're not number one. But that can be oK

Kate
Kate
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No one calls me first. I sometimes think about how it would feel for someone to think, "I really want to go here...Let me call Kate!" I mean, it could be happening and I just don't read minds properly. But, I pick up on energy and vibes even over the phone sometimes, and I know it doesn't happen.

Sometimes, when people ask me to do something, I wonder how many people said "No" before they got to me.

Sadly, this thought is normal in the world that we live in today. Most people don't care about strong interpersonal relationships. They care more about their image and what others think about them.

It is so disappointing the number of people who consider themselves "friends" with someone if that someone provides something for them. This can be either something tangible or something that makes them feel higher on their personal social ladder or ego.

I have literally made a cycle that I am 95% sure occurs once someone asks me to hang out:

1. Usually, they start with their boyfriend.

He says no...most men don't want to go shopping or be your personal photographer.

2. In comes Mrs. Popularity

Who makes them feel super duper awesome that they hung out with this person.

3. Then, they ask the person who they can receive the most out of

The one who will most likely drive...or the one who might pay for their meal.

4. Oh hey! Then there's me

The not-so-exciting one yet will totally have a great time with.

Usually, this would absolutely tear me up. I would feel worthless, less than, and question what was wrong with me. But I have grown to realize that this is not a reflection of me. This is a reflection of the other person and how disorganized their brain is.

Be your own first option. When making plans, think to yourself first. "Do I have to invite someone or can this be done by myself?" Start making sure that you are good and everything you need to get done first, is done.

Who cares if no one makes you their first choice, because you have YOU!

(DUH)

Cover Image Credit:

Kate Moore

Kate
Kate

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