An Open Letter to My Friend Who Passed Away

An Open Letter to My Friend Who Passed Away

Things I never had the chance to say

To my friend who passed away,

I want you to know that I think of you every day. I want you to know that I miss you more than anything, and I would give anything to talk to you one last time. I still remember the last time that I saw you. You were leaving for home, and I begged you not to leave. I told you that I would miss you so much and that I knew it would be a while until I saw you again. For some reason, when I hugged you, I felt like it would be the last time I saw you. Looking back now, I wish I would have spent more time with you, shared more stories with you, and made more memories.

You were the happiest person I knew. I only saw you upset one time in your whole life, and every other time you were smiling the brightest smile I've ever seen. I look at old pictures and videos I have saved of our memories, but it's just not the same, but I know you are happy still. Although it is cliché, I know you are in a better place.

This year has been so hard for me, and so much has happened, but I know you have guided me in the right direction. Somehow, you still influence my life, even if you aren't here. I can't even count the amount of times I needed to talk to you, to call you, because you were the only person I knew would understand my problems or situations I was going through.

I was lucky enough to not experience the death of a loved one until you left my life, but losing someone as precious and perfect as you was the hardest thing I ever had to deal with. All of my accomplishments and achievements since that day have been because of you because I constantly ask myself what you would do whenever I am faced with a tough situation. I know if you were here you would say I am being ridiculous for being so sad, you would laugh at me and tell me to be positive, and you would drive me around in your car, blasting music.

There is a song that came out a few months after you left, and I know you would have loved it so much. I wish I would have been able to show it to you. I'm also sorry for never painting the canvas you wanted, but I painted one a few months ago anyway because I know you would've wanted me to. I wish I had all the pictures of us that you hoarded on your phone, and I wish I could remember that one thing I said that made you spit out your water across the room.

I want you to know that I remember your laugh, your stories, and your tattoo. I remember the way we felt when we realized we were the same person when we decided to be each others bridesmaids, and when we were nervous for the first day of college. I wish I would have FaceTimed you when you asked me to, and I wish I would have visited you like I said I would. I know that doesn't matter anymore, but I thought I would let you know.

So, I just miss you. Thank you for being the most influential person I've ever met, for accepting and loving everyone, and for being someone that impacted the lives of so many. You will never be forgotten.

Cover Image Credit: Meredith Bennett

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Here Are 31 Things Your Bridesmaids DON'T Want To Do

17. Be expected to make important decisions that only the bride should make

Because they love you , 9 times out of 10 they'll do anything that you ask of them. But don't expect them to be grinning from ear to ear about it.

I talked to several past, present, and future bridesmaids who informed me of the things they'd really rather NOT do.

Your bridesmaids DON'T want to:

1. Wear ugly and uncomfortable dresses

2. Spend all of their cash money on that dress they hate

3. Be in charge of doing hair

4. Be in charge of doing makeup

5. Be in charge of taking wedding pictures

6. Be forced to dance

7. Feel obligated to throw a shower especially when nobody else wants to contribute

8. Buy and wear uncomfortable shoes

9. Buy the same shoes as everyone else, especially if they cannot walk in them

10. Be expected to give an elaborate speech, especially if they're shy

11. Be forced to dance with somebody that they just don't want to dance with

12. Miss out on your dress fitting

13. Be expected to make every pre-wedding event if they truly cannot attend

14. Have to throw down more money than they have for multiple events

15. Have to pay for multiple accessories they're expected to wear

16. Learn a dance when they have two left feet and no rhythm

17. Be expected to make important decisions that only the bride should make

18. Be bossed around for the entirety of the engagement

19. Be treated like a handmaid

20. Have to babysit any children during the rehearsal/reception

21. Not getting to bring a plus one

22. Be left in the dark about what they're supposed to do for the whole engagement

23. Have no idea what to do come wedding day

24. Change anything about their appearance

25. Be expected to lose weight solely for the wedding

26. Have to buy a ridiculously expensive present

27. Have to travel long distance for multiple events before the wedding

28. Have to say yes for everything

29. Have to have the same hairstyle as everyone which may not look good

30. Feel or look bad for being broke

31. Be expected to know what you're thinking 24/7

Bottom line is that there are definitely a few things bridesmaids would be thrilled to not have to do. But because they love you, they'll do whatever it is that you ask without hesitation.

Cover Image Credit: Unsplash

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Being Alone But Not Lonely

"jump from one thought to another, just analyzing what my future can hold ranging from career to marriage to even what I’ll be doing when I am 70 years old. "

Have you ever wanted to be alone but not lonely?

You might have told someone that you don’t feel good but in reality you just wanted to be by yourself. Sure, you love having company but sometimes it is just relaxing to be alone. During the time you are able to think peacefully and take your time doing things.

I prefer being alone but not lonely, if that makes sense. Sure, I love hanging out with my loved ones and being around them during good and bad times but, there comes a time when it just becomes too much. That is when I decide I need to take a breather and step away from them to collect my thoughts. They are, in no way, being annoying or troublesome but my interaction quota has been met for the time being.

Whenever I am by myself, I am never bored. For instance, I like shopping alone even though my sister likes to tag along but I concentrate better and get through it quickly. I know what I want and where to get it, so I just head for that area. Also, I love eating by myself. I used to think it was weird for people to eat alone but it is quiet enjoyable. I get to eat and enjoy my food while I sink into my thoughts and think about various things.

Having my alone time lets me think about my future. I jump from one thought to another, just analyzing what my future can hold ranging from career to marriage to even what I’ll be doing when I am 70 years old.

I am an independent person. I do not like to rely on others or owe anyone anything. I like to think for myself and not let people influence me in doing something that I am not comfortable with. Being this type of person has made me into a person who enjoys their own company way too much.

Just because I like being alone, it doesn’t mean that I am not thinking about my loved ones. If I am outside and I see something that reminds me of someone, I tend to start thinking about them. Also, I can call anyone I want to without thinking I am being rude to anyone. For example, if I am at the mall and I see a jacket or shoes that I like but need another person’s opinion, I end up calling my mom. I facetime her and ask to tell me what she thinks of a product I chose for myself or someone else. We go back and forth discussing the pros and cons until I decide to buy it or not. This is a good example of being alone but not lonely. I may be alone at the mall but I can contact my mom if I need her for some advice.

I think it is great for everyone to have their own alone time to reflect on what is happening in their life or what will happen. That alone time gives you to mentally sort through everything that is good and bad in your life and how to eliminate the bad things.

Being alone is not all that bad!

Cover Image Credit: celebwallpapers

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