Dear Younger Me,
Welcome to college! I remember being you. In fact, I remember it as if it were yesterday. Way back in August, I went through what you’re experiencing. I remember it all: the tearful goodbyes, the moments of anticipation and fear, the sound of masking tape sealing your life in moving boxes. Yeah, I went through all that too.
The thing is, younger me, I know it’s all overwhelming and a little scary, but here’s the thing nobody tells you: it’s meant to be that way. Welcome to your life. This is how it is going to be from now on. This is adulthood, and you can do it. I promise. All that being said, I have some experience that I would like to share with you. But while you read this, I need you to take me seriously, okay? Because it won’t always be easy, and to be honest, you will mess up! It has to happen once or twice…it’s how you learn.
Okay, so if your experience is anything like mine, you’ll arrive at college with approximately zero friends. Square one. The cool thing is, you can be whoever you want to be. Have you always wanted a fresh start? A second chance? Welcome to it. But remember, you only get one. These people here don’t know you. They don’t know your reputation, your family, your exes, anything! They will judge you from square one, so don’t be an idiot. I currently am at the very end of my second semester of freshman year, and my friends here often ask each other if we have changed. And let me tell you, I realized something! Who I am here in college is who I have always wanted to be. Not only because of my friends (shout out to you guys—I wouldn’t be who I am without you!), but because I have made choices that brought me here. Do you want to be able to say that? If so, you need to figure out your priorities. Every choice takes you either towards or away from where you want to be. Remember that.
Never underestimate the influence of the people that you surround yourself with. They say that you are a mixture of your five closest friends. When you get to college, it’s easy to fall in line with the first few people you meet. Don’t do that. I have several close friends that I met in the first week of college, but that was a God thing. Most likely it’ll take a while. Here’s my advice: do the things that you enjoy, not the things that “everyone else” is doing, and then look around to see who is doing them with you. Those are your people.
Another warning: not everyone is who they say they are. In conversation a few weeks ago, a friend and I realized that people tend to hide their true colors until second semester. You can fake being a new person, but unless you are genuinely pursuing change, you (and the people around you) will go back to who you’ve always been. So look out for that, especially in your friends. While we are on the topic of friends, my other piece of advice is that you should have lots of different types of friends. College is a time for you to grow and discover who you are. You need to be challenged. In my experience, if you don’t know where you stand on a topic, you’ll fall for anything. People don’t respect people who are influenced by the crowd. And, when you are in certain situations, you need to know in advance how you want to react.
When you feel homesick, know that that is normal. Humans crave routine. It will go away; I am living proof! I haven’t been home in 117 days and counting. In fact, I would stay here all summer in school if it meant that I could stick around and be with my friends. My advice? Call your parents often. They’ll miss you and it means a lot to them. Furthermore, friendship is a two-way street, so if you want to keep friends from home, you need to put in effort. Cherish the time you have, don't wish it away.
Some miscellaneous advice: get at least five or six hours of sleep, always. Go to test reviews. Don’t go out with the first guy who looks in your direction. Get a few favorite study spots. Exercise. Spend more time outside (get a hammock!). Get involved somewhere and volunteer regularly there. Find what you are passionate about. Utilize office hours. Overstudy for your first exam, or it will wreck you. Don’t be discouraged when the exam wrecks you. You failed a test, not your life. Facetime your dog when you’re stressed. Get a journal and spend regular time in reflection. The freshman 15 is only real if you let it be real. Meet older students and develop friendships with them; they’re great when you need advice. Be friends with your favorite professor. Write professional emails—always. Be grateful for what you have, don’t complain. Be someone who builds others up, not someone who is self-centered. Be nice to everyone, because it is a small world and people talk. Don’t gossip about others, it will always get back to them. Social media usually lies; the grass is always greener on the other side. Don’t be fooled. It’s okay to take a personal day every once in a while. Don’t skip class. Don’t be afraid to do what you think is right.
You’ll learn all this for yourself, of course. The thing is, I would love for you to learn from my mistakes. It’ll save you a lot of pain. One last thing: never wish the time away. Time is a gift, and it goes by so fast. So fast! I seriously cannot believe that it is already over. One thing is for sure, I wouldn’t trade this past year for anything in the world. I can’t wait for you to experience it. Welcome to college!
“Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 NIV
