To the woman that changed my life,
It’s taken me a long time to write this and even longer time to try to understand my feelings toward you. I was raised to forgive and forget, but when it comes to you and what you did, my emotions are unpredictable. I know it ‘takes two to tango,' and you will never be the only one to blame in this situation. But in my heart, I have an alliance to my father that I will never have to you.
You broke my family. By not choosing to think about the consequences of your actions and act like an adult, you caused destruction in a home that never saw it coming. We may have not been perfect; my father may have been looking for a way out, but that doesn’t mean you had the right to take advantage of that. Vulnerability is your specialty, and you grasped on to a man that only wanted some attention.
I will always wish you could have taken a minute to think about how your relationship was going to change the world. You only saw a prospect of a future husband and provider, but nothing else. You didn’t see your lover’s wife falling apart, or his eldest child in years of therapy. You didn’t think about divided family holidays or court dates. You never gave anyone but yourself a thought, despite the fact that you were married with children as well. I don’t even think you managed to imagine how your new man’s life was going to be. I’m sure you never expected his children’s refusal to see or interact with you or him having to live a double life in order to save his original family’s sanity. I’m sure you didn’t, for if you have, you never would have continued your illicit relationship.
It’s been five years, and you’re still a part of my life, but now in a different way. You may be married to my father, but I cannot value you as a member of my family. I love the world and those around me, but I cannot seem to direct those feelings towards you. Maybe if you had apologized or shown some semblance of sorrow towards me, I would be able to swallow your presence in some way. I wanted to give you a chance, but alas, I only give chances to those who deserve them.
Cheating has become less of a taboo subject and more of a common problem. I never thought I would have to deal with an affair, especially as a child, but you forced me to. And while I will never be able to forgive you for that, I would like to thank you. Thank you for making me grow up, thank you for making me stronger, and thank you more than anything for making me appreciate my family more than ever.
Sincerely, the daughter you didn’t think about.
