Some people say I'm lucky that my parents divorced so late in my life, but how do you call someone who has to watch the two people they love the most separate lucky? How do you watch a family fall apart and still say that they're lucky? Divorce is never a lucky circumstance, and 10 times out of 10 it probably wouldn't be wished upon someone's worst enemy. I love both of my parents more than anything in this world, and going through something like this with them has been a rollercoaster ride. I know that the transition has been an adjustment for all of us and hope that my parents know these things when they think of me.
I don't care if you go on dates or have a significant other, just let me know.
I want to be in the loop. I understand you think it's awkward because you're bringing a new person into my life, but I want to know who the person is so I can adjust to them and be comfortable around them if I need to be.
Don't put me in the middle.
I understand sometimes you have to communicate and you may not be on the best terms, but I don't want to be in the middle of the fire when things start to get ugly. I know you know each others' phone numbers, so please pick up the phone and ask the questions yourself.
Don't make me feel bad for spending time with the other.
It's hard enough trying to find enough time in the day, but trying to split hours between two people when you're only one isn't easy. When I walk out the door and say, "I'm going to see Mom/Dad," don't roll your eyes or make me feel like I shouldn't go, I'm trying my best, too.
Let me make my own decisions.
Please don't influence where I spend my time. I understand you want to spend time with me, and I want to with you too, but I also want the freedom to do what I want with my time without feeling like I'm letting someone down.
Holidays are hard for me now.
I stress about the holidays for weeks ahead of time because I know that at the end of the day someone will be left unhappy and I may be at fault for that. So if I look sad or miserable later in the day when I meet up with you, it's probably because I am.
Don't talk badly about each other to me.
I know you're separated for a reason, but to me you're both still my parents and I don't see you any differently. I don't want to listen to you bad mouth one another because it doesn't give me a negative outlook on who you're talking about—it gives me a negative outlook on you.
I will always love you both.
I want nothing more than for you both to be happy in life, and although I wish this life had a different outcome I know everything happens for a reason, and I will support whatever steps you both take.
