Relationships are hard. They’re complicated. They can be draining, especially with the wrong person. And at first, you were different. You were captivating. You understood me. You knew how I ticked, and you noticed the little things about me. It was weird; I’d never hit it off with someone as well as I did with you. You were my clone and I felt a weird comfort with you, like I had known you forever. And you made me feel like I was amazing just the way I was. You knew me so well because we were so similar. And everything I said, you understood it before I even finished the thought. You had me at the first conversation we had, you asked about my interests, my hobbies, my family, wanted to know me on a personal level and connected with me like no one ever had. I loved everything about those weeks, and I thought this was the turning point. But that’s the thing about things that go so well that fast. Is that you want it to go on forever, and the faster we moved, the faster we crashed and burned, and you became the person you promised you’d never be with me.
And just like that, it was over before it started.
You were manipulative and difficult. You lied to me. You told me to trust you and to open up to you. And I listened, which I never do in these kind of situations but your warmth was overpowering that I felt myself spilling open. You made me let my guard down with you, and now that you’re gone my guard is as thick as it’s ever been, and won’t come down for a long time. At first, I loved all of it; you were so intoxicating and addicting that being around you felt like an escape, but now you're what I'm escaping from. I believed everything you told me, from the ones at 2 a.m. on a Wednesday night, to Saturday morning on the car ride home in your sweatpants. You wanted to move fast as hell, and you judged me for my past, even though I took yours in with open arms. You knocked me down one too many times in that short period of time. And that’s a lot of emotion and up and down to go through in just 3 weeks. And I fell too hard too fast, and now I’m left in the ashes of who you told me you weren’t and would never be. That’s just the thing with you, and with me. We trust too much. I trusted you when you told me I would one day wake up and realize you’re not the guy I was scared you’d be. And you trusted too much when you heard things about me from strangers, took in what they said and let their comments get the best of you. And we we’re both wrong. And you leaving me was the biggest blessing in disguise for me, and was one of the biggest mistakes you’ll ever make. And you didn’t even stick around long enough to realize that I could have given you the world. And I know that I’m not the problem, but you’re really good at making me second-guess that. And I think that this letter is the best closure I’ll ever get.
