To Brock Turner's parents and the parents of all sexual offenders:
We don't blame you directly. You weren't the one who forced a victim, against their will, to engage with you sexually. No, that was your child. We believe you raised them to know right from wrong. We all know you have to let your children make their own mistakes. You can't be there holding their hand every second of every day.
You have to stop defending your sons with the "boys will be boys" saying. This is not a defense for taking advantage of an innocent victim. Women do not owe men anything.
Stop trying to defend your child in general. It may be hard because they are your child, but sometimes you can't protect them.
This incident changed your child, the attacker, because he was accused of sexual assault. He raped an innocent person. Yes, this may come as a shock to you, but his victim is a person. She is an innocent, living, breathing person. While you may think his life is ruined, that is not her fault; it is your child's fault.
While your child may think his life is ruined, he did it to himself. Just remember that your child ruined somebody else's life, too. That victim will most likely face the symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder. She will have trouble sleeping and eating. She may never be able to trust again. She will probably hate herself for a while.
Fortunately for her, she is a survivor. She will eventually be able to move on from this and will (hopefully) become stronger because of it. Hopefully, this incident will not ruin the rest of her life.
If he is found guilty, which hopefully somebody will find him responsible, your child's life will be ruined. He will never escape this label of "sexual offender." He only has himself to blame for that. It is not the victim's fault; he, and he alone, is responsible for his actions.
You need to stop telling your child that it's okay to be mean to his crush.
You need to stop telling your child that if a girl rejects him, she is being a tease or playing hard to get. She might just not be interested in him.
You need to stop protecting your child from their mistakes.
You need to teach your child how to be responsible for something they did.
You need to teach your child to respect others.
You need to teach your child that "no" means no. "Maybe" means no. "I don't know" means no. Silence means no.
You need to teach your child that they should not take advantage of a person who is incapacitated due to alcohol or drugs because they can NOT consent.
You need to teach your child that the only thing that means yes is yes.
You need to teach your child that just because somebody said yes once does not mean it applies to every time after that.
You need to teach your child self-control because what a person wears, or what they say, or how they look at your child does not give your child the right to touch anyone else.
As a society we need to learn that just because somebody is good at something or has some athletic talent that they are infallible. They can still be wrong.
As a society we protect rapists because it is not on them to prove that it did not happen, it is on the victim to prove that they were coerced or they said no or they were forced.
And finally, to you Mr. Turner, I'm happy that your son is a human and can feel remorse for what he did to his victim. I'm glad you taught him to feel normal human emotions. You are right, your son's life will forever be altered by the events that occurred because he is a RAPIST. Let that sink in, your son raped someone. The symptoms your son displays are out of guilt and depression, most likely not because he did it, but because he was caught. Mr. Turner, what you refer to as "20 minutes of action" will haunt his victim. Because it was not "20 minutes of action," it was 20 minutes of rape.
Do not enhance rape culture by promoting a rapist.
Sincerely,
A Survivor.
