This time last year we were complete strangers. As the Summer tread on we were introduced and started discussing room design. It turned out to be more of an amalgamation of what we both had than anything but it was ours and the space that we both enjoyed and thrived in. We didn't turn out to be best friends, or sisters, or soul mates, or fellow goddesses or any other moniker of everlasting and pervasive female friendship. However, the companionship we did find with each other became something really great and important.
You were always someone to laugh with even though I'm a really private person that was something I greatly appreciated. Whenever we got to hang out I really enjoyed it. It can be hard at college as you also know I'm sure. Being away from your family especially far away whether it's...However many miles away your state is from Atlanta or the 2 1/2 hours away I am here from my family. It can feel like you're completely alone being in a place that isn't the area that you've known all your life. Everyone copes with it differently and even though I'm naturally a more closed off person being even more private was the way that I responded to it. A combination of dealing with college and the natural feeling of being a more individual person not inclined to make such a quick connection to others.
So even though I've made myself seem more reclusive and seemed like I was always either not in the room or studying instead of hanging out or having fun with you and our suitemates, I really appreciated and value the times of friendship and bonding we had. Even though I wasn't open I could tell that you cared and wanted me to know that you were there and could understand stress especially from school. I'm sorry for the times that pride, and a more solo disposition -among whatever else explained not being as vulnerable- made it so that I didn't accept reaching out that you offered.
When you weren't here any longer our dorm that's famous for being spacious felt so much bigger than before. Suddenly, it seemed like our suitemates were in a whole other room. It was like the volume was physically lowered and it probably didn't change, but I got used to it. That was really shocking at first and it was a really strange feeling just being by myself. I'm not gonna lie I was thankful for having my own room after a bit especially with the freedom to do things like leave my pajama pants on the floor -though it's not like I thought you'd be mad at me for that before >.< -.
I'm sorry if it seemed like I cared more when you left than when you were here, and I'm sorry for the times that I kept you up talking on the phone with my boyfriend every night first semester, and for the time that I sexiled you for a bit. It wasn't meant in that way though that's no consolation.
Thank you for being understanding. For being the other warm body taking up the space in the area that we both called our own this year. FYI for rising college freshmen: your roommate is not a guaranteed best friend, and not even a guaranteed friend -not that mine wasn't a friend-, what they are is a guaranteed companion who knows what you're going through and would most likely offer any sort of helping hand. Simple existence so that you wouldn't be alone no matter what your personality is like counts for so, so much.
Thank you for offering help, an ear, laughs, being excited about my engagement, coins -for the vending machine one time that I kept coming back and asking for more of >.< -, for getting me a thoughtful Christmas present, for thinking of me with others - the girl in your math class whose art you said was similar to mind is what I'm specifically thinking of-, and for not actually assuming that I didn't care when it probably seemed like it..
I'm sorry this is almost 800 words. Actually I'm not sorry. You're the only college roommate that I'll have and I want you to know that I wouldn't have traded you or the experience for anything in the world.
P.S. Please come to my wedding.