For many people, waking up in the morning is not the easiest thing. No, let me start over. Waking up in the morning sucks for about 97% of the population. What better way to make the experience less miserable then to have a giant caffeinated beverage? That’s how I start my mornings before taking the orders of hundreds of other coffee-seeking individuals. However, if you wish to not severally anger your barista (and trust me, we hold the power of turning your nonfat, triple shot, no foam latte into a whole milk and decaf latte of pure foam) then here are just a few things you should never do.

1. Get upset over trivial things like whipped cream, an extra pump of sauce, or one pack of sugar.

So you asked for a 7 pump white mocha latte and upon closer inspection you realize, oh no, these coffee making creatures have made a mistake and only put 6 pumps in my drink. How dare they! Mistakes are not to be made ever by anyone. Let me take my sleepy anger and direct it towards this barista who has handed me the drink. The barista that most likely has been on their feet already for hours at 9am and is also running low on caffeine, and this will most likely be the third time they have been chewed out over a small mistake that may not have even been their fault. I understand, people pay good money for some of these drinks and it is their right to get a great coffee creation that will get them through their morning, but full throttle yelling at another human being over a pack of sugar, a pump of white mocha, the presence or absence of whip cream, or my personal favorite “I ordered this size, but I meant to order another, why couldn’t you read my mind and know that?!” *

*All things I have actually been yelled at over by a customer.

2. Mumble. Mumble. Mumble.

Ah yes, the mumbler. When ordering your beverage, you should always open your mouth nice and wide and speak clearly. Many baristas speak broken orders given people who do not fully understand what they are ordering. They speak gestures, when someone lacks words and just moves their hands at them. And many also can somewhat understand a repeat offender who orders the same drink everyday. However, if you don’t open your mouth and speak up, you most likely will be asked to repeat once or seven times. Its not hard, and it’s a simple frustration that can be taken care of. Please and thank you.

3. Hit on, borderline stalk, or approach them outside the sacred coffee walls.

This is way too common and needs to be understood. Just because I smile, laugh at your horrible joke, or remember your coffee order does not mean that I am interested in you. As it turns out, its part of my job to be cheery and nice to you. I do not want you to find me on Facebook. I do not want you to get too personal. I do not want to be followed to my car. And if by some chance we see each other in public, no, its not going to happen, so no lingering hugs or awkward comments please.

4. Not pay attention when ordering or when we are hanging your drink to you.

I understand how interesting your phone is. It does a lot of neat tricks. However, do not continue to look at it or play with it while trying to order. This leads back to the mumbler who cannot be understood because they are talking into their phone and expecting us to just get what they are saying. After you have ordered and you are waiting for your name to be called, pay attention. If I have to call your name 8 times, it isn’t going to be pleasant for anyone involved. You’ll ask me where your drink is, and I will point to the drink I have called out so many times that I am under the impression you have vanished off the face of the earth

5. Assume you are the only customer in the store

These are my personal nightmares. Do you not see the line of 12 people? The way that we are scurrying behind the counter just trying to keep up? The fact that maybe I am making several drinks at once, and when you comment on the one I have in my hand assuming its yours, saying you did not want it that way, it is in fact someone else’s and you should check yourself. Oh no, I’m sorry, I didn’t realize that you get to jump ahead in line and not wait with everyone else. The few people that are understanding and patient are my favorite creatures in the world. Bless you.

6. Come in 5 minutes before we close

Here’s the thing, Its almost 10 o’clock at night. You do not need any sort of coffee in your life, and as it turns out the machines that we use to make all your special drinks take a bit of time to clean, and if you walk in right before we close, I will be tempted to either decaf you or curse you into one of Dante’s circles. It will only make it worse if you try and stick around until the moment we close as well; there will be daggers coming from barista eyes.

7. Be rude for no apparent reason

Alright, this is pretty much the biggest one of all. Being an avid caffeine addict myself, I know I am not the most charming individual before I get mine. However, if you come in with the attitude that everything will go wrong, that nothing is good enough, or that you can be rude or short with the person taking your order or making your drink, chances are you are about to absolutely ruin someone’s entire morning. Yes, its true, one rude customer has the power to throw an entire morning into a funk. There have been many mornings that I have been completely torn apart for A) something that was out of my control or B) a small insignificant detail. And because of this, I feel horrible for the rest of the morning. Its sad, but true. So pretty please, with extra foam on top, remember these people are human and maybe even just being slightly nice or kind to them, it may just make a barista’s day.