Dear girls who "love a man in uniform!"
We, MILSO's (Military Significant Others) and single soldiers who may be interested, call you boot chasers! Welcome to your crash course on military relationships.
See this guy:
Cute, huh? Well, he’s been my world for just under three years, two and a half of which he has been in the military. In that time, he has seen a deployment, multiple month long training problems, and will be seeing another deployment to hazardous (and possible combatant) conditions this summer. I have spent a grand total of 2 months actually with him, out of the 24 months he has been in the military.
He’s an infantryman, which is those boots on the ground you hear about in the news. He was trained for 16 weeks at Basic Training and his specific MOS training to fight the bad guys. He protects us.
During this time, I have heard countless people ask me to “set them up with a friend” and tell me “I love a man in uniform! I wish I had that” Nothing angers a MILSO more. And I will tell you why:
I did not fall in love with a uniform.
I fell in love with a boy in high school. Before he was a specialist in the Army, before he was even a private in the Army, he was just my boyfriend. The person I turned to when times were tough. I fell in love with a boy who ran away from snakes and always made sure his little sister was content. I did not fall in love with someone because he wears a uniform.
We have both missed milestones in each other’s lives that we will not get back.
I missed him being promoted to specialist... He might miss my college graduation. I missed him coming back from his first deployment... He missed my final cheer competition ever.
You don’t get a choice in most things in his life.
The army is his wife, and you are the dirty mistress. It’s your birthday and you’ve been planning a visit for months? Field problem! It’s Christmas and you were expecting him home? Leave denied! You do not win he is needed, and you do not matter more than duty. Ever.
Deployment.
Ever looked over your boyfriend's will and testament? I have. The thought of anything happening to him keeps me up at night sometimes. The scary reality of it is: something really might happen to him. Someone that I have loved since before he put on his combat boots could very well die in them.
YOU have NO IDEA what it is like to be in my shoes, and you don’t want to.
I have zero control of my life half of the time, but people are constantly judging it and making it out to be something glamorous. There is nothing pretty about never having spent a Valentine’s Day or birthday with your boyfriend.
In short, you don’t know how much work goes into being with someone in the military. You don’t know the loss we feel every day, and you shouldn't want to.
Love,
A girl who LOVES a soldier
