Just hear me out.
This is for all of you who have never been in a relationship before. For all those who have been asked countless times by relatives “so where’s the boyfriend," “any boyfriend," “you’re still not dating anyone?,” and the answer from you has always been, “I don’t have one," “no boyfriend," “no, I’m not dating anyone,” again and again.
I’m here to tell you we’re in the same boat. I can proudly say that I am 20 years old and I have never once been in a good ol' long term committed relationship.
*Gasps.* Never? Never. I can’t relate to the people who “make fun of their exes” or “dug [their] key into the side” of their exes’ four-wheel drive. Nope. Not me.
Don’t get me wrong, I still love listening to love songs (which is basically every song), but I simply cannot relate to those who have had multiple relationships before. I’ve never jumped from guy to guy and I was never the girl who always had to be with someone.
If you’re like me, I’m here to tell you that it’s not a bad thing.
It’s not a bad thing you haven’t had a boyfriend yet. It’s not a bad thing Valentine's Day has come and gone again another year and you didn’t have a significant other to spend it with.
It’s even not a bad thing that you’ve felt alone and have had the feeling maybe you should have a boyfriend or you should start dating.
It’s not a bad thing.
More than anything. It’s a positive thing.
Not being in a relationship has probably taught you so many enriching and fulfilling things in your life, without you even realizing it. For one, you’ve learned to be more independent.
Not having someone else by your side wasn’t necessarily detrimental, it gave you insight into the kind of person you were becoming. You discovered you could do things on your own and make decisions on your own watch.
This is especially beneficial during this stage of life, whether you may be attending college or are just out on your own figuring out what you want to do.
This is the time that you are able to live the most authentic life you’ve wanted to live, without anyone getting in the way.
Not having to check off the “in a relationship” box ever in your life has also opened your eyes to meeting so many new people. You are able to freely talk to any cute boy you may meet without worrying about your significant other getting jealous.
Along with this, there’s the flirting. Let’s be real, flirting can be so fun when you’re single. Since single is the only thing you’ve ever known you’ve basically perfected your charm, wit and flirtatious technique.
Or maybe you haven’t. But, hey, you’re working on it.
You’re working on a lot of things in your life, and if a boy really turns out to be genuine, smart, cute and nice, go for it. Go on dates with multiple boys.
Get to know others around you. Build good relationships with your family and your girlfriends. Trust and love those who are around now.
And, hey, if sparks do fly with one particular boy, then you’ll know where you stand as a person before getting to know that other person.
You’ll know this because you’ve learned the most important thing before having a boyfriend — learning to love yourself.
Because you love yourself and know yourself, you’ll be ready for whatever life throws at you, and you’ll continue developing and growing into the person you want to be.
You’re a self-determined individual who can do things with or without someone else, and with that, you’ve achieved so much already.
Just always remember, it’s not a bad thing. You have your whole life ahead of you, and truly knowing yourself is one of the greatest discoveries one can ever make.
So the next time someone asks whether you’re dating anyone, answer them proudly with, “No, I’m not, and that’s okay.”