I wanted to write this letter because I’ve finally worked up the confidence I had lost due to recently coming out of an unstable relationship. Life is made especially hard when you constantly feel like you aren’t good enough. There are a million things to be insecure about these days, and having close people in your life who only put you down makes it that much worse, not to mention the daily stress of trying to maintain good grades, make enough money, and attract men who aren’t total losers.

Our minds tell us every day that we aren’t pretty enough, we aren’t smart enough, we aren’t fit enough, and let me tell you guys that I fell hard into this black abyss of insecurities.

Boys decided to keep standing me up, my grades were falling, I was gaining the freshman 15, and life was crashing down on me. I also have anxiety which made it at least 100 times harder to understand that I didn’t need to believe everything my mind was telling me.

You have a choice, and it is hard. You can choose to give into those lies and hang your head down everywhere you go, or you can beat it. You can show life that you’re someone it doesn’t want to mess with. You can get that gorgeous boy that you’ve been too scared to talk to because you think you’re too awkward. You can decide that the C you received in a class isn’t going to define what your future holds.

But it will take help and encouragement by people you feel comfortable with. You may not feel your best until you meet that guy that you’re completely comfortable with and who showers you with affection and compliments. You might not feel that weight come off of your shoulders until you make an A on the final that you were dreading. And honestly, it’s okay. Healing takes a while and you have to put your whole soul into it before you feel yourself again.

You can start by treating yourself. If you want ice cream, buy it. You deserve it. Your happiness is what matters, not what the weighing scale says. If you want that dress, buy it. Less money is worth it when you actually feel like you look good. Get your hair done, go on that vacation, get your nails done once a week, binge watch a show on Netflix, go for a jog once a day; do whatever makes you happy, because with happiness comes confidence.

I didn’t understand how confident I could be until I took some time to love myself. You have to take time out of your crazy week to get to know yourself in order to ease those thoughts of being self-conscious. Do something spontaneous. If you need a confidence boost, download Tinder or something similar to it, because by doing that you’ll gain compliments which are what you really need to open up. Do whatever you have to in order to regain your life. And always remember that you are more valuable than you think you are.