An Open Letter To All The People Who Are Always Asking Me For Advice

An Open Letter To All The People Who Are Always Asking Me For Advice

I am here for you.
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There are always those people who go prodding and poking around in other people's lives because they just live for the drama. We all know them. We all regret as soon as we share a sliver of ourselves to them. They are those people that you can always find out the latest gossip and usually it is accurate because these people survive on other people's information.

I am not one of those people. And if you can clearly point out someone in your life after reading that, chances are, you aren't either. However, I am one of those people with a friendly face and sympathetic but tough demeanors. I also have been through the ringer on life experiences, so naturally people are drawn to talk to me about things. I have no problem with this, and I try my very best to support everyone that I can. I am thankful that people see me as a comforting ear and that they are actually talking to at least one person about their struggles, but I have some words to add for them.

First, I would like to thank you for looking to me for advice and caring support. Really it means a lot. I can be trusted, but you already know that if you're asking me. Know that while everyone does go through struggles, yours are unique to you, and only you can genuinely feel them and determine your emotions. If you are asking for advice on class schedules or looking for condolence in tough times, they can sometimes feel like the same stressors.

I get it. I may not understand your specific situation, but chances are that in some capacity I can connect with you. That is the funny thing about humans; we are all connected somehow. I won't try to tell you to brush anything off or that you are being overly dramatic, etc. That is not helpful, and can often times be worse off. Life is hard enough let alone worrying that who you talk to could bite you in the ass.

I will NOT judge you. It does not matter the situation. It does not matter what you did or didn't do. What matters is that you are looking to talk to someone and get advice. It is not my place to judge you, nor would I ever want to be judged in my most vulnerable.

I also will NOT tell you exactly what to do. This can be the most frustrating for you, but hear me out. I can offer you resources and urge you to do something. Usually, I won't sit back and be like "I dunno", but I won't give you a paint by number for anything. I don't know what to do either in most situations. It is how I can help you go about solving your own problems that counts. For life altering situations, my advice can only get you so far. What matters is that you learn to stand strong for yourself, while I support you. Ultimately all decisions are yours, so don't blame me either. That's not cool.

Lastly, remember who you are confiding in. There are so many people in this world that are just like the people I described above. They will use you, and feel no remorse. Unfortunately, I have seen this happen in my life countless times. It has even happened to myself. Again, I am not one of those people, and I WANT you to have the greatest life with the best support.

I am honored whenever anyone discloses things to me or looks to me for quick advice. It shows that my true colors are shining just the way that I want them to, and it lets me know that we are all just a bunch of humans trying to figure out this thing called life.

Cover Image Credit: FQ Magazine

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To That One Friend Who Deserves The World

Since I can't give you the world, I hope giving you this article is enough.
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My wonderful friend,

You deserve love.

You deserve to marry your best friend.

You deserve appreciation.

You deserve that no matter who comes in and out of your life, every selfless thing you do for someone is acknowledged.

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You deserve kindness.

You deserve to have the nicest people in the world surround you all of the time.

You deserve support.

You deserve to have someone there for you at the beginning of every good day and at the end of every bad one, to have someone who wants to fix all of your problems.

You deserve hope.

You deserve to always be optimistic.

You deserve laughter.

You deserve to never stop smiling and actually mean it every time you do.

You deserve forgiveness.

You deserve to be able to be given second chances because without a doubt you are worth it.

You deserve friendship.

You deserve to have a friend who can be just as good of a friend as you are.

You deserve honesty.

You deserve to always be told the truth.

You deserve motivation.

You deserve to never want to give up and always push yourself.

You deserve success.

You deserve to have everything you have worked so hard for.

You deserve faith.

You deserve to always know it will get better.

You deserve loyalty.

You deserve to have that one person who will never leave and always be there for you.

You deserve happiness.

You deserve to be genuinely content with your life.

You deserve the world.

If I could give it to you, I would.

Yes, life gets tough sometimes. The unthinkable happens and your world feels like it is crashing down but you can get past all of this.

Thank you for being so selfless. It amazes me how you do it sometimes, but thank you for always making everyone your main priority when they need you.

I know I may not say it enough, but truly thank you for all you do for me. I don’t always know how to show how much someone means to me, especially when it is someone as great as you because I don’t know what I did to deserve you, but thank you.

I love you.

Cover Image Credit: Liz Spence

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Outgrowing Friendships Is A Necessary Part Of Life

Let go of a friendship that was not meant to last.

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Why do friendships naturally begin to gravitate away from each other? Why is there an emptiness within the bond that used to be filled with excessive passion? Why does effort suddenly disappear? Why do we lose the pieces that once kept us together? At times I find myself unable to look at people who were a part of my past without tears fill my eyes to the point of exhaustion simply thinking of the friendship we used to possess. There are many moments I cannot understand why, when, and how we ended up going in different directions. It seems impossible to release the specialness we once shared. I cannot fathom how we have been walking in parallel routes without even a glimpse of each other. I wonder if there's anything I could have improved upon to save us. Or were we not meant to be rescued?

Appreciate that you are engaging in internal growth, even if it is at the cost of separation from those you love deeply.

The timelines of our lives do not always match with those around us. Sometimes as we fall into the pits of despair, our friends find inescapable love. Sometimes as our friends grieve burdensome pains, we begin to visualize ourselves in a new light. As our pathways begin to part due to our progressions and setbacks occurring at diverse times, we fail to acknowledge the extents of our personal developments because we are too invested in analyzing a friendship that was not meant to last. When we lose such friendships we take our strengths for granted. We fail to think of the person we have become throughout the course of these attachments.

Do not overthink distanced friendships or it will lead you to endless self-doubt and unneeded frustration.

We drive ourselves insane by shifting such blame upon ourselves when we are left on an empty road full of questions. Such questions will What could I have done to create such a disconnect within this friendship? Did I say something so exceedingly wrong to cause this hurtful shift? Did I bother this person with an unintentional act of thoughtlessness? Could I have been a greater friend? When we question, we doubt ourselves in ways we do not deserve. Recognition is needed to conquer the unsettling thought that there is not always a reason for everything.

As you find yourself contemplating if the connection still remains, acknowledge that the underlying meaning of this contemplation means that the bond has disappeared. As life changes, people change, and as people change, their most valued friendships come to a close due to the similarities fading. Although this is a saddening concept to grasp, it is one that everyone should be prepared to experience. Sometimes there is no reason behind a dying connection aside from the interruptions life brings. We wrongly search for an exact understanding of why specific friendships do not feel as exciting or as effort-filled as they once were. But rather, we must seek to appreciate a friendship for all that it has consisted of, and learn to be OK with the fact that some relationships are not designed to be repaired when all that is left to discuss is the past versions of ourselves.

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