About 40-50% of marriages end in divorce every year. With all of the pain and reality of the heartache sinking in, more likely than not the children of that newly "broken household" are left to deal with the aftermath of dividing the assets. Now what these parents don't know is that the divorce might be finalized in their eyes, but when it comes to the affected children in the picture, it is a NEVER. ENDING. NIGHTMARE...that unfortunately happens to trickle into adulthood.
I happen to know this dreary truth first hand. My parents announced their divorce during the summer before I started my senior year of high school; I was 17 at the time. Now I'm 21 and about to enter my final year of college, and yet the hardships associated with your parents splitting up keep on coming with no signs of stopping...
One of the constant, most aggravating, post-divorce issues dealt with is the incessant b*tching and moaning of both parental parties...about the opposite parental party! Even years after the marital vows are officially dissolved, the habitual nagging, the recyclable and reusable insults relentlessly track you down; as if I want to hear how my mom/dad ruined your life for the millionth time! How about instead of being so extraordinarily blinded by the past, we worry and focus on the moment we are in now...shall we?
Family Holiday Fiasco...Here We Go Again...
Here it is...the ultimate grenade that no adult of childhood divorce wants to go through: deciding where and with whom you are going to spend the holidays with. Every year it is the same old song and dance of utter chaos when trying to coordinate your complicated holiday schedule. Questions like "Is it mom's year or dad's year for Christmas dinner?" or better yet "Should I just do my own thing this year, and avoid all of the overplayed family drama?!" repeats on a loop in your mind. But whatever option you decide to take on, more likely than not you will be visited by the echo of your mom and dad complaining about the decision you've made; but that's okay, because as an adult you are fully accustomed to your parents constantly disagreeing with every choice you make.
Que the Friends...A.K.A Your Second Family!!
As any adult whose dealt with divorce during their childhood knows, your friend circle is a safe haven that you cannot replace! As the years of your parents--and yours by association--"misery" drone on, your close-knit group of friends is what has kept you sane and grounded all these years--and for many more to come! Every tear shed, every problem that has surfaced, and every hesitant smile along the way has been intercepted by these amazingly selfless people, and I along with all of the other adults of divorcees, are irrevocably grateful.
So in conclusion, A.C.O.D.'s--Adult Children of Divorce--need to take control of the present and leave the past behind, all the while blocking out your parents--still to this day--ceaseless whining.
PSA: To all of the divorced parents out there...
It's been 5+ years...get over it already!