An Open Apology to the Ones I Hurt Along the Way
Start writing a post
Community

An Open Apology to the Ones I Hurt Along the Way

Here's what you've all been waiting for

145
An Open Apology to the Ones I Hurt Along the Way
Photo by Eric Ward on Unsplash

Making mistakes is a normal part of life, I get that.

I'm just going to start off by saying, I know that growing up comes with making mistakes. I understand that we have to make mistakes to learn and to grow, it's just a part of life. There's just somethings I wish I could go back and change in a heart beat, but I can't.

I lost some really great relationships in my life just because I couldn't pull myself together. I pushed, I pulled, I fought, I drank way to dang much, I was a literal crazy human being for like two years. I lost myself as a person for a really long time and I just couldn't figure out why. My biggest problem was that I couldn't accept change, I didn't want my "normal" to be taken away from me. For so long, I was hiding from my emotions and I didn't want to feel the pain. I tried so hard to be happy when I really wasn't and boy did that make everything 100x's worse. I was so hard on myself, I was trying to be so strong and I didn't want anyone to see me break. I lost a best friend who had passed away, I lost a grandparent to cancer, and I lost an amazing boy that I promised all my friends I would marry one day, all in a 2 month period. The end of freshmen and beginning of sophomore year were the hardest years of my life. I struggled. I honestly did not think I was going to make it. I was drowning. I did not think I was going to pull my head above water so I packed up my stuff and moved to find who I was again. I blamed everyone else and I never took responsibility for my actions.

Here's to the one I hurt along the way,

Our hearts are so delicate and when I reacted the way I did I know that probably scared the hell out of you. I acted out bad, I said things that cut deep, I brought up past things, I used what hurt y'all in the past because I was hurt. Hurting you was not my intention and i'm so sorry that I did. I was so immature and I was so fragile. I was the absolute worst human being to walk this earth for a while and I treated some of the best people in my life, horrible. I did not think twice about putting myself above y'all and I'm so dang sorry for that. I'm sorry for pushing y'all to a breaking point that made us cut off contact for so long and not even be able to be in the same room as each other. I'm so sorry to the friends I hurt because I would drink entirely way too much and would ruin y'all's night for having to take care of me. I'm so sorry for not respecting you. I'm so sorry for never listening and just taking matters into my own hands. I'm sorry for pushing y'all away when things would go wrong when you would just try to be there for me. I'm sorry for never giving you the space that you needed. I'm sorry for tearing y'all down and tearing any relationship apart. The reason I'm writing this is because every time we're together in person, I don't feel like I get everything out that I want to say. I can tell y'all how sorry I am until the day that I literally die, but that won't change what happened. I lost some really good people for a long time, I know I wasn't the only who made mistakes during this process. I know we were all young and immature, and we're still learning.

I will always be better than that girl you had to know for a while, because now you don't know her anymore.

I can't go back and change what happened but I promise I will always be better because I have changed. I have learned to listen before I speak and I started treating people the way I want to be loved. In the moment, you're never sorry. It's not until you've had time, possibly too much time that you realize just how wrong you were. This isn't me asking for another chance for our friendship or relationship, but this is me telling y'all what I've been wanting to say for the last year and a half. I am writing this to express my guilt and disappointment in myself, and to truly apologize. See, when someone apologizes if they don't change the thing they are apologizing for then it doesn't even matter. For a really long time, I had so much dang pride built up I would never have thought about doing this and for that I'm also sorry. I will promise to you that no matter how hard life gets or how much change comes along the way, I will never act the way I did like I did back then. I want y'all to know that I still do have much love for you and I will never put y'all through what I did back then. Please never be afraid to reach out to me. I know we all make mistakes and I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. I will tell you though, I wouldn't have wanted to go through any of the things we went through with anyone else.

I learned my lesson. From the very bottom of my heart, I am so sorry.

Love always,

Tay

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Lifestyle

Where To Find The Best Coffee Drinks In America, According To A Survey

Here's the coffee shop where you should get your morning brew.

231998

Coffee, for billions of people, is one of the only things that can get us out of bed (after hitting snooze a time or two), especially in 2020. Because, if we're being honest, is there anything that beats a quality cup of coffee on those mornings when all we wanted to do is roll over and go back to sleep? The answer is no. And if you're headed to a coffee shop to pick up your caffeinated beverage, you don't want to sleep on the best coffee drinks in America.

According to LiveShopper Sassie's Coffee Project survey, when it comes to chain coffee shops, there are definitely preferred spots you'll want to hit up for your go-to order — whether you order the classic, frozen, or flavored coffee, an espresso, tea, or other. To figure out the hot spots, 1,000 coffee drinkers across the United States took to LiveShopper's mobile app, PrestoShopper, to answer various questions about their coffee drinking habits and preferences. In return, these survey respondents got money back for their coffee — something any user who downloads the app can do as well (yes, even you).

Keep Reading... Show less
Lifestyle

The Best Bagel Recipes For Every Personality Type, In Case You Need Another Excuse To Eat Carbs

I'll approve of pasta for breakfast any day, but this is more socially acceptable.

6137
NBC

I've had times in my life at which I've told myself I need to cut out carbs. Those moments last about a minute or two before I start daydreaming about rice and pasta.

Bagels hold a special place in my heart — for many of my college friends and me, a bagel sandwich was the go-to breakfast after a long night of drinking. Years later, I still love to indulge in the occasional carb-filled breakfast. As much as I love putting in an UberEats order from bed, nothing beats the feeling of pulling some fresh-baked bread or pastries out of the oven.

Keep Reading... Show less
Content Inspiration

Survey: Which Issues Are The Most Important To You In The 2020 Election

If you're a first-time voter or voting by mail for the first time, we want to hear your story.

82422

The general election on Tuesday, November 3, 2020, will decide not only the next president of the United States but also which political party controls the House of Representatives and the Senate. Young and first-time voters will play a crucial part in determining the result.

Keep Reading... Show less
Tips

Articles To Write If You're All About Saving More Money, And Waking Up A Little Bit Earlier

Get your day started right — and keep that budget tight.

217941

For all the young professionals, parents, and students out there who've been working, learning, or even teaching remote — 2020 has likely been the longest year of your life. If you didn't know (sorry), we've been locked down for over 200 days now, and chances are, you are ready for it to be OVER.

Keep Reading... Show less

Scrolling through Instagram can get stale after a while, especially if you're constantly refreshing in the hopes of finding something new and exciting. Should you be looking to add some inspiration to your timeline in the form of self-love tips, relationship advice, or love secrets, here are 11 relationship coaches you'll LOVE following.

Keep Reading... Show less
Lifestyle

How Much Of A Coffee Snob You Are, Based On Where You Live

Your state may determine how picky you are about your coffee.

130960

When it comes to coffee, everyone has different criteria for what goes into their "perfect cup." Some caffeine lovers, though, are extra particular when it comes to their beloved beverage. One survey found that the state you're from (or the one you live in now) may play a part in determining how much of a coffee snob you actually are.

LiveShopper Sassie, the company behind this Coffee Project survey, received input from 1,000 coffee drinkers via their mobile app, PrestoShopper, to ask various questions about their coffee drinking habits and preferences. In return, these survey respondents got money back for their coffee — something any user who downloads the app can do as well (yes, even you).

Keep Reading... Show less

If you are a college freshman, or new to college, this is for you. If you are in a new time in life where you don't know where this change is going to take you, where you might not have your community yet, this is for you. Or even if you are stuck in a rut of everyday life where the new normal is quarantine and isolation, this is also for you.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

As Illinois Reaches Its Highest Death Toll Since June, I Urge You To Stay Home And Wear Your Mask

69 COVID-19 deaths were recorded in a twenty-four-hour period, the highest amount since June of this year.

500
Photo by Noah on Unsplash

As we are approaching colder weather, we are also approaching a spike in COVID-19 cases throughout the state of Illinois. On October 21, 2020, Illinois recorded its largest daily COVID-19 death toll since June of this year. According to the Illinois Department of Public Health, 69 deaths of people who contracted COVID-19 were recorded within a twenty-four-hour period, raising the state's death toll to 9,345 since the start of the pandemic.

Keep Reading... Show less

When "Mean Girls" said "In girl world, Halloween is the one time of the year where you can dress up like a total slut and no one can do or say anything about it," they were damn right. Halloween is the perfect excuse to buy that raunchy costume and show your partner that you're that B. Coming from a very single (yes, very single) 20 something-year-old, I have already got my Halloween costume on lock, and now you will too.

Not only are these 10 Halloween costumes dangerously sexy, but you can wear them in the bedroom whenever you want to give your boo a surprise, yes, year-round. Whoever said you can only dress up on Halloween is seriously disturbed.

Keep Reading... Show less

Ariana Grande released her first single called "positions" since "boyfriend" with Social House and it is a BANGER. This song is absolutely incredible and I am SURE you will agree with me once you listen.

I'm a sucker for a single with a video and that's exactly what we got. Ariana's been pretty quiet during the pandemic, and we all assumed she was working on some new music, and we were right.

Keep Reading... Show less
Politics and Activism

Rejection Of Black Lives Matter Mural By Phoenix City Council Doesn’t Stop Gizette Knight

The Phoenix City Council rejected a proposal for a Black Lives Matter Mural in downtown Phoenix. But Gizette Knight says this is not the end.

407
Photo by Josh Olalde on Unsplash

Community organizer Gizette Knight, CEO of Reality Dreams LLC, is not giving up on the Phoenix City Council's rejection of the Black Lives Matter mural.

Keep Reading... Show less

For me, chai isn't just what I drink — it's a core part of who I am. Sure, I'll switch it up every now and then with a cup of English Breakfast, Earl Grey, rose, or Darjeeling, but I always come back to chai.

Nearly every tea lover has one tea they repeatedly drink and go back to, whether it's a daily morning ritual or an afternoon pick-me-up. One of my good friends has almost eight cups of jasmine tea every single day — she drinks more tea than water, actually.

Keep Reading... Show less

In a world where physical contact is a liability, the ease of slipping into despair and isolation has never been so tempting. Perhaps the greatest kindness we can lend to one another is reaching out to the people that meant something to us before everything changed. Here's why you should message your friend today.

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments