Before the repetitive jokes, haphazard use of laugh tracks and auto-tuned theme songs, Disney Channel possessed a certain characteristic that resulted in gossip in class about Alex’s troubles on Wizards of Waverly Place or speculation about whether or not Hannah Montana and Jake Ryan’s romance would last. It was creativity. Unfortunately, Disney Channel is now a lackluster idea factory, reworking the same pattern over and over. I mean, kids who are also visionaries are totally plausible, but I’m sorry- a dog will never have a blog. Here is an homage to the authentic Disney Channel.
Dear old Disney Channel,
We miss you in your entirety. We miss the shows that would come on at 8 PM, 7 central. We miss the best original movies you’ve ever created, like High School Musical, Wendy Wu: Homecoming Warrior, and The Cheetah Girls (and then you made sequels!) You always had us in mind, knowing that we would love the irony of sweet “save the penguins” Maddie from Suite Life of Zack & Cody doubling as Sharpay, the biggest diva in High School Musical. At this point in time, you understood the kind of humor that we had, and you always made shows that would inflate our self-confidence to unforeseen levels. Because we saw these TV shows, we believed that we could save the world and then hurry back to school to go cheer on the football team like Kim Possible, or that we could invent anything we put our minds to like Phineas and Ferb.
You gave us kids that were relatable. We were a world of Mileys who felt like Hannahs, and you awarded us the privilege of living out the dream. Not only did you make these programs entertaining, but you taught us major lessons that still help us today. Through Hannah Montana, we learned that fame isn’t everything and that celebrities are still just people. And during this time when we wanted to know everything, That’s So Raven demonstrated that it’s not all it’s cracked up to be. Yeah, we might not have noticed it at the time but only now do we realize the extent to which you equipped us with skills and characteristics that have aided us in taking on the world.
No matter what was going on at home, we knew that we could count on The Proud Family, Lizzie McGuire and even Cory in the House to make us feel better. (Seriously, nothing cheers us up more than the theme song of Cory in the House.) We knew that during commercial breaks, we would learn more about foods from around the world with the segment “Pass the Plate," and we would stop whatever we were doing to sing along with the TV as soon as it chirped “Disney 365!" We always tuned in to the Disney Channel Games, where we saw our favorite Disney actors compete against each other to win the ultimate title.
Retro Disney Channel, please come back. You grew up with us, and now that you have left with no sign of return, we know that you have taken a small piece of each of us along with you. Thank you for everything you have done for us. We’ll see you soon enough and let’s hope that your rights get sold over to Netflix, so we can meet up again.
Until then,
We are the 90’s and 00’s kids, and you're watching Disney Channel.
