I feel as if I’ve been jolted awake and abruptly thrown out of the best dream ever. Suddenly, I find that I’m 20 years old and a junior in college—I’m halfway through what have been the best years of my life thus far. Though I feel as if I am moving at full speed, I notice that my limbs seem to be dragging on the concrete. This wonderful experience has managed to leave me overjoyed, yet entirely drained.

I’m not sure how so much time has passed so quickly—I’ve accomplished so much, but it still feels as if there is loads more to be done. The funny thing is that, when you're younger, you think that when you “get there” or “grow up” you'll be so sure of yourself, you’ll know your path, and you'll have it together. My reality has proven that nothing could be further from the truth.

College has caused me to evolve in several ways. I used to hold myself to a standard of pristine perfection, but I’ve come to the conclusion that perfection is attainable by some other breed of human, perhaps a distant relative of my species. The whole "failure-isn’t-an-option," "sleep-is-for-the-weak," and "Goonies-never-say-die" mentality may work for some, but it certainly doesn’t work for me. Honestly, I think it’s a load of crap, and I also think it can be a little dangerous. I confess: sometimes, I don’t get grades that I’m super proud of; sometimes I show up to class in my ratty sweatpants and a painfully messy bun. I’ve become comfortable with having “those days.” Everybody has them here, whether they admit it or not.

I'm not saying that I’m content with mediocrity. I know when I'm not being my best self and I let the guilt I experience push me to do better in those times. But I don't want to be pushing myself so hard that I can't step back to appreciate the view when I've reached the top of my mountain. Being in college isn’t just about attaining academic success, it’s about learning how to take care of all forms of yourself, in all aspects. I have come face to face with my limits several times since I have been in college, and I have learned loads about the importance of prioritizing my needs. I've decided that my best is good enough for me. I push myself to grow, but I have learned to give myself room to breathe.

College is an amazing time in your life, with incredible opportunities and loads of fun times. But, it isn’t a cakewalk here—not if you’re actually trying to make the most of it. Sometimes it’s easy to want to give up, especially when you're always tired, forever hungry, occasionally lonely, and eternally broke. Other times it’s easier to soak in the joy, like when you’re keeled over laughing with your vibrant and wonderful group of friends, when you’re dancing in the kitchen celebrating your solid A on that test you worked your butt off for, and when you get the call that you got the job you’ve been praying you'd get.

Through the highs and lows, it can be difficult to sit back and drink in the perfect mess that your life is, but I constantly remind myself, you have to do it. You have to appreciate the madness. These are your days.

I’ve found that the real ticket to success in college is surrounding yourself with good people—the friends who become your chosen family when you’re missing your biological one. Hands down, the best thing I’ve experienced here are the connections I have made with the incredible people that I’ve been given. They have come to me when I’m doing the things I love (concert choir), when I’m sauntering through the things I hate (chemistry), and when God knew I needed them the most.

I’ve been blessed with friends who make me feel comfortable enough to be myself, who bring me my favorite ice cream in bed after a rough week, and who send me unexpected encouraging texts despite the battles that they’re fighting every day, too. My cup runneth over—college has given me my people. They get me through the ups and downs of college life when I am lacking in strength.

Despite my exhaustion, I’m ready to keep chugging along for another two years (please, Lord, let it only be two). I plan to enjoy myself as much as I can while I’m in this stage in my life before I fearfully vacate the safe cave of academia, and break out into “the cold, cruel world.” In reality, I have little to no clue what my future holds, but I’m figuring out the things that I’m passionate about. I’m hoping that I see a lot of them down the road and maybe they’ll help make things less cold and cruel. May the next two (over-caffeinated) years be joyous treks to ultimate success—or maybe just a four-year degree. At this point, I’m content with either one.