This is a topic I've never been shy about. I believe that it's not something for people to be ashamed of. The only reason people do feel ashamed about admitting their "daddy issues" is because society as a whole has deemed that it's a problem. I'm here openly stating my opinions, my feelings, and my issues; essentially, I'm here to state my piece on what it's really like to be the girl with daddy issues.

Growing up my dad wasn't around often. He was always working, there was a period of time when he was dating another woman and cheating on my mom, and I can remember being little and simultaneously wanting his affection but also wanting to be nowhere near him. My mom was always the emotional support, educational support, and the biggest fan, just to name a few things.

Over many conversations about my feelings of the past with my father, he still stands by the fact that he wasn't around because he was working to provide for the family. Which, I guess, is true. My father worked at least two or three jobs at a time to make sure there was a roof over our heads—something I will never deny. His work ethic is incredible—his parenting technique, not so much. I don't think that working so hard to provide for your family excuses cheating, abuse, and ignorance of one's own behavior. So, after living life wondering about why my dad treated me differently than all of my friends' dads treated their daughters, I began thinking about my actions.

I have always needed a little bit more attention than everyone else did—it came with the anxiety. And while I always will value what people think about me, I always put more stock into what guys thought of me. I would adjust my behavior to please the guy I was dating, or to make my guy friends happy. I was more bothered when fighting with a guy friend over a girl friend. It was their affection I often sought out more.

I did the college version of "dating". And while I am strongly against slut-shaming and I believe a woman can do whatever she wants with whoever she wants, I knew I was doing it for the wrong reasons. I let my life revolve around the opinions of guys, always worried that I wouldn't be "cool" enough or good enough. I spent my life trying to fill a void of acceptance that I never got.

I never had my father teach me how to let another guy respect me. I never had my father show me the right way to treat a significant other. It wasn't until recently, that my sister got married, that I had an actual father-figure; someone to show me what it looked like when a man respectfully loved someone else, that genuinely cared for them, and that would put their needs before his own. And while I am well aware that this article may somehow circle around to my dad, and he will probably get angry about it, I think these things needed to be said so that other people who have judged me, and people who have judged others like me, can understand what it's really like to live in our shoes.

I myself have cracked jokes to my friends about my daddy issues. I have also used it as an excuse for my behavior at times. But I think it's important for people to know that there is a reason for people to act the way they do. In my case, it was looking for a type of figure in my life that I never truly had. I don't think that daddy issues are something to shame people for- it's a characteristic of a human being that has meaning much deeper than the surface. Yes, I've been working on my relationship with my dad and trying to make it better- and I don't think that it's a coincidence that my dating behavior has changed along with it. But before you point your fingers at someone else and blame them for the way they may be, next time take a minute to consider that maybe there's a reason for their behavior that you have the privilege to not understand.