As people, it is completely normal to make assumptions. We really shouldn't make assumptions, but for some reason as a society, we like to speculate and presume we know how a person is thinking. This inevitably leads to drama and misconception.
Throughout the past few years, being a college student has taught me a lot. But the one thing that I have gathered out of this, is that, communication is key. Without clear communication, people will try to over analyze every single action that you make and word that comes out of your mouth. I over analyze someone breathing! The point is is that we analyze things that really shouldn't be analyzed, but is it really all our fault. I mean I wouldn't have to over analyze this boy's actions if he would just tell me how he is actually feeling. I find myself doing this a lot, in my past, and even now. I think I am quite literally going crazy because of how much I am analyzing this certain individual's actions. But I don't just do this with the person that I possibly like, I do this with my friends too. And quite honestly, I almost lost some friends because I made assumptions.
Last year, I went through the rigorous process of applying to be a Resident Adviser (RA) for my university. This process included a very detailed application and two interviews. Before this process began, my friends and I were potentially talking about living in a house together our junior year. This was something that I was excited for, but also knew that there was potential for me to become a RA, requiring me to live in the residence halls for one more year. Nevertheless, I still tried my best to keep myself included in the housing plans. Unfortunately, my friends were thinking of something different. They were also preparing for the possibility that I might not be living with them.
We had a meeting sometime during the year before things were getting serious. I was still going through the interviews and my friends were still in the search for a house. Part of me was getting kind of skeptical. My friends hadn't updated me on how the house search was going, and quite honestly, I didn't feel included in the plans. I made the assumption that they didn't want to live with me, and if I didn't get the position then they would just leave me in the dust. I was angry at them, and I started showing and directing that anger towards them. They finally had enough of it, and asked me what was wrong. And I explained to them how I was feeling hurt. They apologized to me, telling me that was never their intention, but that they were glad that I told them.
So, why do we make assumptions? Why aren't we able to clearly communicate our thoughts and feelings? Why has our society made it such an issue for us to express how we feel? As human beings, we think that we are so good at communicating, when in reality, we are probably the worst beings at communicating. We hide our feelings and emotions. We want to show that special someone that we may be interested, but we don't want to make it too obvious. We want to speak up about political issues, but we are silenced out of fear.
We need to stop being afraid of communicating. I'm not advocating that we correct one another and say that one idea or belief is better than the other. I am advocating for a clear flow of communication. Your friends, parents, brothers, sisters, teachers, significant others, will never know what you are thinking or how you are feeling if you never tell them.
Communicate. It is one of the best services you can do for yourself.
