Many so far reading the article would think they couldn't relate to this but I say you can. Not specifically related to the fact that you are Mexican and/or white but more on the fact that many tend to live different lives. I for one can attest to this because, yes, I'm Hispanic but more importantly Mexican. Growing up I loved listening to the heartfelt love songs that would play on the Spanish station that my father had it on. I would love to see my abuela cooking my favorite meals of tamales and menudo on a cold Sunday morning to warm me up. However, it's hard for me when I cant seem to fit into one label or the other.

I knew that I was never 100% Mexican or 100% American because I could never fit in. There are so many people that are first generation American deal with these same type of problems with defining who you really are. I was like that and I still am today, but college has some made me accept who I am as a person. This can be hard when your heart claims one side but feels like the other and I am here to say that it's OK to be proud of being an American and being part of another race.

I didn’t understand how much of difference this made until I finally went home after surviving my first year away in college. I knew I was always different, but I couldn't really see it because I went to school and had friends that looked and talked like me and had the same story as me. It wasn't until I finished my first year of college that I finally saw myself as different. So different that I felt I would never fit in with the rest of the students. The minute people asked me if I was an international student I was completely confused. I would have to state that I was an American, an American born and raised in Texas. Apparently, this explanation didn't make sense to them because apparently I had an accent that made me sound as if I was almost foreign.

Then it got even worse as the year rolled out. My roommate and many of my friends would look at me crazy because I loved hot sauce and I would put it in just about anything that sounded good to me, but to them this wasn't America it wasn't normal. It wasn't what Americans would do. Funny right? A bit, yes, but the times I would pull out the hot sauce bottle out I would hesitate believing that I would be made fun of again. Not really funny now. I started to mess food from back, food that you couldn't have gotten here in North Carolina. My friends would question me when wouldn’t eat the Mexican food that was being served in the caf. I would answer, “that is not real salsa. Enchiladas don’t look like that and it is all too Americanized” and they would look at me as I was another person from another world because to them it was good. Speaking in Spanish when I was mad or having trouble pronouncing words made me feel weird to the world. That made me realize that I am Mexican, I am a foreigner.

This is not even the worst part. Coming home made me feel like a foreigner the moment my feet landed in Texas. Restaurants such as Chili's, Applebee's, and even Starbucks was considered too American in my families' views. The minute I suggested these places I was looked at as crazy and a bit odd for suggesting it. Then there were times where there was also foods that I have tried courtesy of my friends that were perfect for dinner and well you can guess how that ended. Then there were times and still are when I would understand what my family would say in Spanish, but would have a hard time speaking perfect Spanish back to them without stuttering and relying on English words to somehow get my point across which would rarely happen. "You have lost your mother tongue, Liz, college is great but not if you lose who you are." The most pain stabbing words I have ever heard coming from a family member just as bad as getting told by your 16-year-old cousin that I am "so white". Making me a foreigner in my own home.

I might be too American for my family and too cultured to my friends, but I have come to see that this is who I am. I love to eat my abuela’s cooking, listen to Mexican music, and have an accent because that is exactly who I am as a Mexican. I enjoy steaks, vanilla lattes from Starbucks, and being able to speak to languages even if one isn't as perfect as the other. I would feel embarrassed and different, but I feel that being from two different worlds creates a special me that makes me stand out more than others. It also makes me try 10 times has harder as an American to fit into the culture and to perfect my English and immerse myself in the culture that is a part of me. It also makes me want to learn more of my heritage and have become even prouder to call myself a Mexican and becoming fluent in my mother tongue.

Embrace who you are because you're never really too American or too cultured. You are simply a person who doesn't fit in the perfect box that has been created because you are unique. Being able to understand two languages and being fully emerged in two cultures is hard but that's the best part because we are able to work hard to become great at one than the other. We are able to balance out our lives and create new perspectives on the world that many would never have thought of. I am Mexican American and I embrace both my identies because this is who I am. Now the question is who are you and what do you embrace?