"My ambition is my weaponry" is my favorite lyric by Niykee Heaton, because in my life, it proves completely true. My ambition really is my weaponry. Here are a few reasons why.
No matter how many times that my life has struck me down and made me feel completely hopeless, I have always had the need to succeed and make sure that I was successful in my life no matter what it took to get there. It's because of all of the times that I have found myself letting my depression consume my mind and all of my thoughts that I have fought through and gotten stronger than my depression and learned to keep breathing.
It is for all of the people that have ever doubted everything that I am capable of and for all of the people that would love to see me fail. It's for me learning to gain all of my confidence to tell them and show them that I will better myself to make sure that I will see my life through all of my success, no matter how small.
It is for all of the people that bullied me in high school and that told me that I would never amount to anything more than an uneducated feminist. It's for that reason that my thirst for knowledge has grown. It's to show them that I can and will be better and smarter and continue to grow my knowledge more than they believed that I would.
It is for all of the times that I have found strength in all of my weaknesses and allowed myself to grow and become a better person because of it. For all of the times that I let my disorders get the best of me but still woke up the next morning wanting to grow and try to become better. It is for all of the times that I told myself that I could and I did it and proved everyone wrong.
It is for all of the times that I wished I would stop breathing and not wake up the next morning but doing it anyways because I had found a reason to keep myself here, because a small part of me didn't want to do that, so anything, no matter how small, would keep me here.
It is for all of the times that I have grown and become more comfortable with myself in ways that I never knew that I could be. It's for all the times that I have had nobody supporting me in my decisions but making them anyway and becoming successful. It is for all of the self-doubt that I have let go of to feel more free with myself. It's for learning to grow my own mind and opinions and speaking up about them.
It's for the constant thirst to not let my depression and anxiety win me over and to keep pushing through. My ambition will always be my weaponry and I will continue to search for more ways to better myself and make sure that I am happy.
